Multiple Symptoms - I'm Lost

[plum]

As I'm still at the beginning of my journey out of TMS symptoms, learning and thinking a lot about this, questions keep popping up. I'm so grateful that there are people like @plum here willing to help others! I really hope I'll be one of those members too in the future.

So some more questions...

The pain I have in my right wrist (being right-handed) came with no special cause like e.g. an injury, but responds heavily to (over)use. It's generally never present when I don't use my hand, but only if I bend or flex my wrist. For example, it had decreased a lot, being merely an unpleasant feeling when flexed. But when we renovated our bedroom during one week, finishing last weekend, that pain got worse. Now rather small bending/flexing causes pain. Is this a case of conditioned response? And how should I react now? Should I keep my wrist calm for some days/weeks (because I know it's gonna be better then), or should I ignore the pain and use my hand normally (which will probably cause the pain to stay or even worsen)?

Following the former, how much physical treatment of TMS symptoms is generally tolerable/useful/advisable in order to not focus too much on the physical? E.g. massages (also of trigger points) to relax muscles that are tense, baths to relax the pelvic floor, cream on rashes. I reckon it's no problem to get some relieve by this if it's still clear that the cause is psychological.

Now for the emotions. Relapses of my pelvic pain keep coming in stressful times, without exception, including positive stress. I never get relapses without having stress. Triggers have been vacation I had been looking forward to for long, christmas, and renovating causing some mess in the house for a week. Does this mean that I have rather strong emotions around these events? Or is it just stress?

I have learned from several sources that it's important to feel our feelings. I have not yet figured out when and how to do that, but I hope this will come as I go along. I have two questions concerning that.
I've learned that when there's an emotions, I should consciously and physically try to feel that emotion. Is this true for anxiety? I'm a rather anxious person (I tend to worry mainly about my own health and the health of my close family, i.e. my wife and my children). It's counter intuitive to me giving the anxiety power by trying to feel it deeply.
Something I've read about anger is that I should not break out in rage when anger comes up, but rather try to feel it and keep calm outside. This is counter intuitive to me, as it seems like keeping the emotion in and repressing it instead of releasing it.

Still confused...

Neuroscience has shown us that it takes 17 seconds for a thought to grow a neural pathway in our brain. Every single time we have the same or similar thought we reinforce this pathway.

The average life lasts for 2,475,576,000 seconds.

How much of that time is devoted to the creation and cultivation of negative, self-defeating, self-limiting thoughts?

We are bombarded with stimulus constantly so our brain serves to filter information lest we fry our curcuits. It is speculated that it would take our entire life to process the sense data that accompanied our birth. This one astonishing fact gives us a perspective on the magnitude and majesty of our nervous system. I offer this in the spirit of saying no wonder you are confused. Life is a mystery and TMS is but one small part of that.

So to your questions:

1. Regarding your wrist I recommend you read some posts by @TG957. She is healing from hand problems and her words may have specific resonance but generally speaking it usually serves to allow soreness and sensitisation to calm down before challenging it simply because it's easy to fret about it. In the absence of definite and actual injury it does sound like a conditioned response. Some people find it easier to challenge conditioning than others. Anxious types usually need to resolve their anxiety issues first (more later at #4). When my trigeminal nerve flares I always leave it be and let it calm back down. That happens much, much quicker these days, I'm talking about overnight instead of weeks or months (which was the case).

2. Symptom management. I'm pretty easy on this front. Being in pain is counter-productive on every level. I think the 'cessation of physical therapies' is massively over-egged and can lead to you playing is-this-ok/not-ok mindgames with yourself. I note how you use the word relax when querying this and I say that is the right focus. Soothing, calming, relaxing is the way to go. Such healing methods help you nurture the relationship you have with your body and that is of prime importance. I think it's ok to give yourself relief.

3. It's probably a bit of both. The more you learn about yourself, the better able you will tolerate and handle stress. TMS healing is all about emotional intelligence. Rick Hanson is an awesome resource for this.

http://www.rickhanson.net/ (Dr. Rick Hanson: The Neuroscience of Lasting Happiness)

4. You are experiencing emotions all the time so there is no need to look for them. You need to cultivate awareness of them.

Yes this is true for anxiety. I know that seems counter-intuitive. Please explore Claire Weekes. She has helped thousands upon thousands of people recover from anxiety. If you search the forum you will find loads of information. Here is a link to some free audio for starters:

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/claire-weekes-audio.2569/ (Claire Weekes Audio)

Anger is a lightening strike. You can feel it and experience it fully without going on to cause hurt and harm with your rage. How you act upon feeling an emotion is a choice and the more emotional intelligence you develop, the greater your repetoire of responses becomes. I deal with flashes of anger everyday. It is part and parcel of being a carer. Sometimes it is appropriate to act upon it, say if someone accuses my partner of being drunk I will correct their ignorance and there will be heat and steel in my voice. However if I have a flash of anger because my husband has got in a muddle with his clothes for the hundredth that day I will take a deep breath, feel the rage, and then gently sort him out.

Blessings,

Plum x

 

[tellmestories]

plum, a little delayed, I just wanted to thank you once again for your amazing support! I've started doing the SEP and am confident it's gonna be a good starting point fo me.