Motivation: proper and improper?

[Freedom]

I am working on some motivation and goal setting program(s) and was wondering what are proper and improper ways to think about motivation and goal setting?

I want to make sure I don't do anything that is mentally destructive that I have likely done in the past, such as setting the bar way too high and beating myself up for not achieving, or expecting I will make a 180 change in a field and then be upset when it doesn't happen the next day.

For example, are the following statements okay?:
I will do everything in my power to get this part of my life handled
if I do X action, or don't do X action, what will my life look like in five years? [I am and away from motivator]

Additionally, are there any particular good threads or articles about this?

Thanks!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Hi Andrew - first, I want to mention that once you come up with a new screen with Forest's help, I hope you'll be willing to sign off on your posts with your first name so our old posts make sense! Many members do that - they have a completely non-identifiable screen name, but they sign their posts with a first name. Which is nice - some screen names are hard to use ("Hello and welcome, 399frrlnw%" is kind of awkward).

Anyway - what strikes me about your questions is that they exemplify the perfectionist traits that get us TMSers in trouble in the first place.

Unless this motivation/goal setting is required for work, I might suggest focusing on your second sentence - and NOT in a structured way! This is the one that's tripping you up in all aspects of your life, right? Not unusual for a TMSer!

That being said, to answer your specific questions about affirmations, I don't care for "I will do everything in my power..." because it's completely open-ended and far too demanding. It seems to me that it might be more useful to say "every day I will accomplish one small thing that will help me to achieve X". Without knowing what X is (work? exercise? TMS?) I can't be more specific. But if we're talking about your TMS work, then a small thing might, for example, be to mindfulness (meditation, usually) for 5 minutes every morning for a week. Or to learn how to listen to your inner critic or your negative brain messages.

Then there's the next one: "if I do X action, or don't do X action, what will my life look like in five years?" I don't get this one in a TMS context - it sounds like a job interview question. It's not a question I would want to answer in any context (and being semi-retired and self-employed, I don't feel like I have to, LOL). Outside of a work requirement, it feels far too specific, combined with too long a time frame.

[I am and away from motivator] no idea how this was supposed to read!