Day 32 Making mistakes

[Toby2015]

I make mistakes a lot. My problem is a dwell on them, I over the play it in my mind. I worry about what other people think (even when I've not made a mistake). I do a lot of 'what if' thinking, becoming mindful is helping a little with this though.
I apologise too much too, even when it was someone elses mistake.
I wish I could be a person who does not care about others thoughts about me. I think I would have been much more successful if I had.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Toby. According to Dr. Sarno in Healing Back Pain, you are a perfect candidate for TMS emotional pain because you are a "goodist," someone who wants to please everyone, be liked by everyone, and will knock yourself out to do it all. Your dog is beautiful (a black Lab like mine) and it thinks you'r wonderful, and that's pretty much all that matters. Any others among your family, friends, etc., if they don't approve of you or like you, who cares? That's their problem, not yours. The SEProgram will help you to deal with your goodism and how to modify it. Good luck with healing and let us know how you are doing or ask any questions. The TMS community believes in helping each other.

 

[Gigi]

Hi Toby. I used to obsess a lot about things I've said ("Why didn't I say x?"), doing what I call 'replaying the tapes' to such an extent that I couldn't sleep at night.
Somewhere I read about a technique that really helped me. You look back on the situation as an adult, forgiving what was said by "child" you. Then you comfort that child who feels bad.
We can be so much more forgiving of others than we can of ourselves!

 

[Toby2015]

Hi Toby. I used to obsess a lot about things I've said ("Why didn't I say x?"), doing what I call 'replaying the tapes' to such an extent that I couldn't sleep at night.
Somewhere I read about a technique that really helped me. You look back on the situation as an adult, forgiving what was said by "child" you. Then you comfort that child who feels bad.
We can be so much more forgiving of others than we can of ourselves!

I will give that a go Gigi thanks.
I thought there was only me that thought about things to that extent, it keeps me awake at night to sometimes. I am much better now than I used to be but when I'm feeling a little sensitive or low that's when I do it.
Sometimes I worry about things that probably haven't even been noticed by others, really really silly things like saying something and getting tongue twisted so my words come out a little different to how I meant them. I know it's hardly worth losing sleep over.
This site really is a rock for me, and thank you to you all.

 

[Toby2015]

Hi, Toby. According to Dr. Sarno in Healing Back Pain, you are a perfect candidate for TMS emotional pain because you are a "goodist," someone who wants to please everyone, be liked by everyone, and will knock yourself out to do it all. Your dog is beautiful (a black Lab like mine) and it thinks you'r wonderful, and that's pretty much all that matters. Any others among your family, friends, etc., if they don't approve of you or like you, who cares? That's their problem, not yours. The SEProgram will help you to deal with your goodism and how to modify it. Good luck with healing and let us know how you are doing or ask any questions. The TMS community believes in helping each other.

Thanks Walt, dogs truly know how to make you feel loved, they always accept you for who you are and never judge. Something that was humans should try to emulate.
Toby is the name of my dog and why I chose it as my username. He is a rescue dog with an awful past. we have had him for a year, he came to us as a terrified, introverted dog that they were worried he would never recover from. We have watched him become a happy, life loving animal. That is why are used his name as my username, I am hoping I can overcome my fears successfully as he has. He does give me strength as we do him. I know that's a bit off topic but thought you'd appreciate the story. Thanks Walt, you are a ray of sunshine when the clouds are thick and dark.