Life just doesn't make sense sometimes *TW for death*

Yesterday one of my best friends (two, actually, they used to be married and had kids together but are divorced now) lost his 21 year old daughter in a car crash. He was in the car as well and his son/her brother was driving. They both survived but she was pronounced at the scene.

Things like this just make me wonder what the hell. I instantly felt the flare when I read about it, I watched her grow up into a beautiful and smart college student. And yet while I'm whining about my pain, a young life is gone. Deep thoughts today.

 

@Rusty Red
My thoughts are with you. What a terrible loss for all of you. ❤️

 

So sorry to hear that. What a terrible loss for all of you.

Tragedies like that make one wonder: at least one is still alive and life is so precious despite all the things one could suffer from...

 

I'm sorry, Rusty.

It's okay to hold space for both feelings.

Sending love.

 

I'm right there too.
My sister was diagnosed a few months ago with something bad and her time left may be short.
This is the same sister that my little self would pretend to whack over the head to make my TMS go away.
My little self was just jealous and wanting all my mother's love. I'm actually very close with my sister.
And now I feel devastated and guilty and scared. And then more guilty for feeling scared about my own health.

 

Growing up around a lot of death, I pondered it often and was troubled by it a lot when I was young. The one thing I didn't do was talk or write about it, and it grew in me like a cancer of fear and despair. it is definitely something that can only ever even make a teeny bit of sense between us and God. The only way I even know what I am feeling is to scribble and talk with people close to me

and Yes! It puts our minor ouchies in perspective. All of us are gonna die...but not all of us are gonna live. Embracing both is real awareness. I forget to live all the time

Sandy Beach, a great soul whose daughters both died tragically, once said "You have Sorrow and Resentment. God can help us with sorrow....anger and resentment? Your on your own."

Grieve..and live.

 

So sorry for the girl and for all those who loved her. I lost a cousin who I loved deeply when I was 11 and she was 17. It was an airplane crash. Nobody survived. It broke our once very close extended family and caused even more pain and drama. Sorrow never completely faded away in those almost 60 years since.
Your pain of loss will stay forever, but it will not be as deep and constant. But make sure that you don't push those feelings under the rug. Let your heart run the course of pain, allow yourself to cry, because otherwise your TMS will run the havoc of symptoms.

 

I love you, @Baseball65 . I needed that statement so much today.