Day 5 Just wrote first about first past event, feel overwhelmed

I just wrote about the trip preceding all this shit thats happening right now. It was so stressed and frightened during it and never came back the same. Do i just sit still and be compassionate with myself? Do i need to write until i no longer feel anything. I feel a lot of pressure on my stomach. Just a lot of pressure all over my body. Would like to take the right stept. I remember schubiners book said that we needed to feel less pressure after writing. That made me anxious that i was making it worse.

 

Schubiner never said we NEEDED to feel less pressure after writing. He was saying that it relieves some subconcious emotions...but that's if you write about the subconscious emotions.
You are writing about things you know, that you've felt and are only learning the beginning of how to journal more deeply. Our minds often sheild us from being vulnerable with ourselves and it can take time to go deeper and sense the true emotions beneath it all. Don't worry about the SHOULDS and MUSTS and NOWS etc. That is all unnecessary self-pressure. You don't need to do anything but slowly begin working through things.
The fact you are on day 5 now is showing your new commitment. Congratulations for sticking with things to day 5!

 

I know he didnt necessarily literally say that we NEEDED to feel relieved. But he did say most people are in less pain after one free writing exercise. That heavily implied something to ME. I know that that says something about the type of person I am and it may not even be what is said but that was just how it felt to me. I didnt know what else to write so i felt like i did something wrong

And btw: thanks for continuing taking the time to respond. Im putting in work and you taking the time out of your day to try and help me means the world to me. Thanks a bunch

 

"But he did say most people are in less pain after one free writing exercise."

This is new to me. I read his book but did not read this. I also never implied it.
You definitely have an awareness of how "personally" you take some things, and how reactionary you can be to them. Just like having more symptoms some days, less on others. Part of working with the nervous system is reacting less to things that stimulate our mind and thoughts. Take a breath, take a step back and being to see how you could respond instead of react when you catch yourself in these kind of situations.
Responding has choice. You can grab that second or two after hearing, seeing or feeling something that often triggers a knee jerk reaction and then can decide if you want to have little freak-out or a ridged thought over it, or if you want to soften the edges of what is going on within the mind. This is one of the big reasons why we learn to meditate. We train the brain that these little breaks are fine, and that we can respond to things with some softness and still be perfectly OK.