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Is it just thoughts we repress?

K

KathyBee

Peer Supporter
I am seeking clarification on an issue.
Is TMS only about the thoughts we repress?
What if we are conscious of having a thought, but we feel bad about having the thought. And we feel the thought is not socially acceptable so we do not share it with anyone. And because it is not an acceptable thought we do not express that thought in anyway.
I was doing the reading that went with day 2 and the example of was on repressing bad thoughts about a new born child. My child is grown now, but he had colic as a baby. This is where the baby cries for hours straight. I had all sorts of bad thoughts at the time which I did not express or tell anyone about.
Although I had the thoughts I am not sure if I actually fully felt the anger. I think the overwhelming stress blotted out all other feelings.
I think I have lots of other times in my life where I felt an emotion but did not show it, since my mom trained me to not show negative emotions. Or maybe I did not actually feel the emotions but rather thought it in a detached kind of way. Does this count as repression?
 
Yes, that is exactly what repression does, and of course it keeps us from collapsing after trauma. We repress both thoughts and emotions, although not all thoughts evoke an emotion.

Repression is just that--it represses. But I think it's more important that you understand that when you say "Although I had the thoughts I am not sure if I actually fully felt the anger, " that you realize that TMS exists because you never felt the anger. If you felt the anger you wouldn't experience the symptom. It's vital to understand that even with things as beautiful as a baby, that part of you does not want it. That's the divided mind in conflict, the shadow aspect--the undeveloped self, that does not want any responsibility. This is the core of TMS, hiding the aspect of yourself that you cannot allow others to see. The superego and id in mortal combat.

It's because you were taught to not show negative emotions that you have TMS. Your body is expressing what you want to say, but never learned how. Then you have what's called corrupted memory. You see life each day through a prism that's "wrong"...or a skewed filter. That means that every day, all day, you keep automatically compartmentalizing events into the bad category. We give more weight to negative forces than positive because of archaic survival mechanisms. So try to see the good in the day, and reverse the old memory screens. TMS is a survival mechanism. It helps us cope through the day when we have inner turmoil.

Your unconscious doesn't understand time. It sees the hurts in you as a little girl as occurring now. You just learn to live around them, and use them as either motivation, or excuses. Emotional pain is a motivator, and it stems from inner conflict. Repression is lying to yourself that something didn't hurt you, or you were weren't afraid, when you truly were.

Steve
 
Kathy, I developed a mindset that there was nothing I could do about certain emotional pains or situations so it was not worth feeling them. I had a couple late term miscarriages before I had my amazing daughter that when I had her 10 years ago I guess I figured I to be worthy of the gift. I have worked myself to death trying to make sure everything goes right for her that I have stunted her emotional growth as well as mine. A very painful lesson. I have not cried in 10 years as I never wanted her to see me sad or scared or any of those very human emotions. I began to unravel, but now the release of the knowledge is so freeing. I never examined this stuff until my health began to deteriorate. I am a firm believer in God, and yesterday it occured to me that God put the answer within me, but the right circumstances had to come about before I could figure this stuff out.

Funny story that today, I was mad that the plumber didn't show up when I waited all day for him, putting off preparations for my daughters "perfect" birthday party. I was so mad I let it out and actually said a pretty bad curse word in front of her. Her eyes got huge. I then laughed and told her that mom was learning to let stuff out a bit more and that although I can do a better job at expressing myself, it felt good to say what I was thinking at the time. Now I have to deal with the pressure I am putting myself under to make sure the birthday party goes perfectly. Good Lord...what have I been doing? I am amused!:)

I started crocheting yesterday and am horrible at it, but it feels good. I am making a scarf-dickey-cape...or a bowling ball bag. Not sure what it is, but feels good to relax! ahhhh!
 
Tms is absolutely the most aggravating, loving, hopeful event you'll ever grow to love.
I never thought id be saying thank you lord for this journey but the truth is to learn to heal
with the mind is a powerful thought to ponder. it proves all sorts of theories
on miracles and faith- perseverance and contentment.
Now when I feel bad about having a thought I know, ill have a funny feeing in my gut
That's stress or anxiety, the building blocks to that can create repression.
When I have a thought like this now I think it through and really get to a positive thought before I stop.
See, im making a decision for some kind of good to turn out right, less its catch 22.
Then we have soothing and a calming of the spirit through acceptance.
Learning the Tms ropes is a lot of work but its work well worth the travel.
Hundreds of years ago only a few knew about this powerful secret.
Now for all to see the truth is being revealed everyday right here.
I've had repressions about fights from my teen age years to thoughts-
about being mad at something I wasn't mad about anymore.
I picked that repression up in a dream- its about TV characters at
times that bring the thought to mind and boom, instant awareness.
The road of discovery of self is very beautiful and full of disappointments.
We learn to love who we are, all the time without judging and bullying or even crying.
Then we learn to judge a thought- and cry to release tension the right way with great dicernmenship without the bully.
Repressions are habits we learn to break. a wall of discouragement built to be understood and used conveniently.
 
Very wise and true. Today I am happy that this has all occured as I feel more contentment than ever. Having daily realizations of stuff that I have repressed from guilt and fear. Hopefully I can be a better life teacher to my daughter and help my husband with that back pain.
 
Thank you every one.

One the plus hand, I know what a lot of the things are that I have angry or sad thoughts on but have to allowed myself to feel fully.

On the other hand, there are a lot of them.
 
My boss gave me a lot of stress yesterday. Fortunately, we were miles apart in our homes, at our computers,
so I yelled at him and told him what a Simon Legree he is. I let out all my anger and frustration.
He didn't hear it, but I did and I felt a lot of relief.

Then I laughed. I laughed him off. I laughed him out of my mind and body.

I felt great afterwards.
 
That's awesome Walt, Ya know ill often have an image of the person
that might make me mad or something like that.
Then ill just take some aggression out on that image as if it was real.
The mind doesn't know if a thought is real or imagined so
I can really get some tension release by acting in my mind
through imaging that im taking care of business ya know.
It seems to have worked pretty good for me.

Now in the past I would have never thought about getting even with someone or
letting out anger in this fashion, it just seemed not real.
Although the more I thought and began to put the puzzle together that the mind
doesn't know the difference between a made up fear or a real one- it just hit me
that if for some reason I get mad now. I can just have an old school boxing match
in the privacy of my own thoughts and get that strain and tension
along with the repressions on outta my system ya know.
 
Imaging helps. I see my "can't ever please" boss in my mind's eye.

Then I also remember what Mom used to say about a problem:
"This, too, shall pass."
Sure enough, my boss emailed me today with some potentially good news.
I know (at least I tell myself) he's really not as big a problem for me as I sometimes think.
He's under a lot of pressure and stress. I have to remind myself to put myself in his shoes,
and be glad I'm only in them for a few minutes. He's in them for good.
 
Walt, I really like that- Reframing at its best- acceptance.
You got some great outlooks and understanding Walt.
Some day im going to fly there to Chicago just to set and
have a good cup of tea with ya.
Then we can set and just listen to
the wisdom in the nature of friendship.

God bless you Walt
 
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