Hi kimaya:
I reviewed the other thread you started about all this, and I am not going to talk about your symptoms, because you spent plenty of time obsessing about them there, after you also described all the tests and exams you've already had, which seem to have ruled out anything actually physiologically wrong.
Your biggest problem seems to be that your fearful primitive brain is in complete control of your life.
Here is what your primitive brain is having you do in order to keep you in fear:
- wasting time obsessively googling your symptoms
- wasting time obsessively comparing your symptoms with other people
- wasting time describing your particular unique symptoms in a lot of detail
All of these activities make your primitive fearful brain very happy, because that's time you are NOT spending trying to get to the bottom of your fear and anxiety! It wants you to remain fearful, because it thinks (remember, this is very primitive thinking) that if you're not in fear, you won't survive. This mechanism worked okay in the early primitive world where there actually were physical dangers every day, but it simply doesn't work in the modern world - and in some people, this mechanism goes into obsessive overdrive. I'm sorry to say that your situation is a really good example of this. Thankfully, you found this forum, so give yourself credit for that!
Someone already gave you the very good advice to start doing one of our programs, but I don't see any indication that you have done that. Please start working on the Structured Educational Program! It's free, and it's on our wiki, and it gives you opportunities to post responses to each day's work here on the forum.
You need to break your obsessive cycle, so I have a piece of advice to get you started: from now on, whenever you post on the forum (and we hope that you do!) do NOT describe your symptoms. Starting right now, you need to concentrate on the psychological, and reject the physical. When you post and you need to mention symptoms, just say something very short and generic - I suggest using the phrase "urinary symptoms" and leave it at that.
Again, give yourself credit for having found this forum, and start working on loving yourself enough to feel that you deserve to recover. Self-acceptance is a hugely important part of doing this work. Fighting against your primitive brain is another important part.
This community is here to support you as you progress.
And, by the way, if it has not already been recommended, please pick up a copy of Hope & Help For Your Nerves by Claire Weekes - it is a very small book, and very easy to read, yet it is the #1 book for anxiety, as many of us can attest.
Good luck, kimaya - and keep us posted, okay?
~Jan
