Is anyone else in a "peaceful" middle?

Hi everyone,

I'm in a lot of pain everyday. But it hasn't been bothering me much lately.
For years on and off I was obsessively trying to work out what was wrong with me until a few months ago when I found out about mind body disorders and the first time I've felt true hope. In desparation I consumed all of the content I could get my hands on and now here I am. Whilst that wasn't a fun time, I think a lot of it did go in.

I wouldn't call it smooth sailing but I generally feel pretty good and recently have been working my way back into society again and its been great. I've felt really positive about things and I'm pretty good at dealing with flare ups (which are getting rarer) and general nervous system issues (which still happen from time to time). I've had symptom imperatives and to be honest I find it hilarious. Some silly back pain, finger pain etc can come and try to scare me after everything I've been through, just like Sarno said it would.

For a while I've been trying my best to eat better, sleep better and exercise more and these things really do help! Who would have thought!?

A lot of this is probably in part because I am expecting to get better. I know many people caution against this but eh, why not? I'm not expecting to get better with any deadline, I just feel confident I will *at some point*. The theory all makes perfect sense to me and after getting countless scans that show *nothing* this seems like a logical explanation. And the crazy inconsistencies in my symptoms I mean, what else could it be. Crazier things have happened, we have put people on the moon for goodness sake. I think I can make a recovery from chronic pain...

Recently I've been running. I went on a 5 second run 4 days ago, then a 10 second run 3 days ago, 15 seconds and 20 seconds today. Its very liberating to run again!

I'm sort of just waiting now to get all the way there and I know it might take a long time, or maybe I will wake up tomorrow and it will be fine. I don't know, but to be honest I'm at where I'm at, maybe I have just finally truely accepted the way things are (a first for me!) and realised I can still live a fulfilling life. That being said, I'm very excited to get better

It feels like dealing with your pain is only the tip of the iceberg. The deeper understanding of yourself and what you truely value are some amazing, if hard-earnt lessons in this winding road of recovery. I'm very grateful for this journey.

 

Why not indeed! The perfect attitude imo! (The caution is always with regard to deadlines - no deadline, no problem.) A lot of people who post on these forums aren't truly expecting to get better and so they stay where they are.

 

Absolutely you realise that it becomes so much more than the pain itself - it leaving is just a byproduct of greater personal work and development

 

@cyano
Peaceful middle is a great name for it. I am there too, have been for awhile. The other day I ran circles in my music room while doing a simple 25 min interval training. Instead of resting, I ran. Last month I climbed a small mountain…
In between I’ve had some symptoms.. it’s just my brain still trying to keep me safe. On those days I don’t push it, just observe the psychological and keep on keeping on.
Love that you have found comfort and safety with where you are at.

 

I love that you are starting small and adding a little at a time and celebrating! This is fantastic and inspiring! Well done!

 

You have a great attitude! Keep up the hard work. I found out that running was a good stress reliever for me. If I am dealing with any lingering pain, running usually helps me with it. I figure that when I run I am being mindful, but also I am showing that unconscious brain that my body can do it and that I am fine. You are doing great!

 

Someone asked me today how I was as last time they saw me I was in a flare. Although I had pain, I stoped the victimising and said “I am great” and I moved on. I didn’t gain sympathy and I thought thank goodness I don’t have to externalise my pain anymore! It felt like a small win so I know that happy medium, well done!

 

Happy New Year Jan! All the best for you this year

 

Good job!!