Introduction and some questions

[daveO]

Hi everyone - just wanted to introduce myself.

I'm a entrepreneur / programmer that has had relatively mild RSI (read TMS) for the past couple of year. It hasn't stopped me from being productive/active but it's been a real drag! After reading the Sarno books several times (this is my 2nd time "trying" Sarno) I am really really intellectually convinced that it's the right diagnosis. Hoping my subconscious gets it's act together

I am definitely a huge people-pleaser, peacemaker, trying to do everything 'right' and 'smartly.' I have been an extremely high achiever and have gotten a lot of positive feedback for being smart and 'good' my whole life.

When my TMS started, life seemed really easy, I had just co-founded a successful startup and was having the time of my life working a *lot* on the computer. I got so much pride and joy from working and being successful, but there was clearly a ton of pressure and stress as well. At some point my arms started to get tight if I worked a lot. This was also happen to my other co-founder (the "contagious" element of TMS). Acupuncture helped for a while then became less effective. To cope I would just limit the amount of time I worked (3-4 hours on the computer) and do contrast baths every night and I would be stable and productive.

But I'm starting a new job (next week) and am really trying to focus on sarno to actually get rid of my shackles and be able to use my arms as much as I want! I also just starting reading the Brady (pain free for life) book and really like the approach.

A couple questions I was hoping to get feedback on:
-My arms only start to tighten up over the course of a few hours. And it has been very consistent for a long period of time. I don't really see a relationship btw the pain and my moment to moment emotional state. I totally believe my emotional makeup is the cause of my problem but my the moment my emotional state doesn't seem to be the trigger for symptoms. Have others had this experience?
-I've been journaling for the past few weeks , but haven't really followed a specific structured program format. I'm not sure if I want to do this one or the brady one or just keep journaling what feels right. Any suggestions?
-I have been talking to my brain for the past year and I really haven't noticed it helping at all. Until just this past week I started trying really really yelling - like getting crazy angry which I would never ever do in real life! When I do this I can feel my "fight or flight" reaction in my body kick in, like I feel the adreneline. I also feel like it may be somewhat reducing my pain for the next 15-30 mins! I feel like I've kind of read about this b/f, have others had to get really nasty when talking to themselves?

Thanks so much!

 

[Forest]

I think I may have written this exact same post when I first learned about TMS. My "RSI" first developed when I was in high school and I had it for about 16 years. The first time I heard about TMS I brushed it off, but a couple years later I gave it another try and it turned out to work. I guess we all have to accept TMS in our own time. For more about my story feel free to check out my profile page.

I have never been a person who is really in touch with their emotional state, and it took some time for me to be comfortable really expressing my emotions. When I was recovering I didn't worry so much about what exact emotion I was repressing. Instead, I focused more on accepting that I did not have a structural issue and overcoming my fear of my symptoms. This involved increasing my actitivity and pushing myself physically to see what would happen.

At the root of everyone's TMS is repressed emotions, however our symptoms can be triggered from a simple conditioned response-you have pain because you expect to have pain. For me, addressing the conditioned response at first really helped me make progress in my recovery. Of course, our symptoms are a clear sign that we do have repressed emotions, but it is more important to understand why we are repressing then figure out what the exact repressed emotion is.

 

[Stella]

Hi DaveO,
Initially starting the program I could not see how my emotions could connect to my pain. I did not think I would ever be able to figure out the connection.

I did follow the journaling program here. I know there are lots of options but this one worked for me. I just kept reading, writing and posting. In time I was able to see what was happening. For example, Journaling helped me to express anger that was never an acceptable part of my upbringing. It was never an emotion I was allowed to feel. It just immediately moved into my body as physical pain.

I thought I felt anger but when I journaled about an issue the degree of anger was significantly more than what I was aware of.

Glad you are here. Sandy

 

[daveO]

Thanks to both of you for the wise words!

I definitely think working thru the conditioning is a huge part of my issue. Through journaling I also definitely am having more insight into just all the emotions, rationalization and fears I have! I have definitely been avoiding these things very effectively over the years

So I now have two days complete at my new job and it has actually gone well! I haven't stressed my arms like crazy but I have worked two full, productive days with just a hint of tightness. I used to have to wear heat pads to get thru 3-4 hours of work but I haven't used them at all yet!

I am pretty hopefully - I think they are legitimately holding up better than they have in ~2-3 years. I am also very appreciative of everyone who has contributed to tmswiki.org as I got a lot of great info and inspiration here

 

[Stella]

You can do this. You have so many insights already,