Increasing pain with activity

[Mark1122]

Hi guys,

I made a 180 again started a part time job because otherwise im desperate at home. I started it for the first time when at a high pain level just to say to the pain i dont believe this is structural and i can do anything i want.

Also picked up a guitar because ive always wanted to learn but thought it was too old. Now my pain does increase with pc, mobile and GUITAR activity all those kind of things. I also started jogging while feeling extremely bad for the first time, instead of stopping acitivity until i feel 75% better and then workout since i figured if i dont do it when i feel bad after acctivity (like pc) then im telling my brain i dont believe its TMS. The jogging didnt go great cause of symptoms but i did it and i was happy.

Especially the guitar hurts my right trapezius and upper back. I also notice when this happens there is alot of tension in my stomach, bloated feeling and feel my heartbeat in my fingers annoyingly.

Are there any people who overcame these kindof problems. When i stop activity i get a alot better and when i continue acitivty i get gradually worse and always break at one point. I can't really think of what else i could have besides TMS but on the other hand TMS hasnt been working out for me either so..

Just wondering if anyone who overcame their pain etc recognizes my problem. And how to deal with it. Because sometimes it gets so bad that i dont know how i can resume activity.

Thanks.

 

[Aimee88]

Hi Mark1122. Have you heard of extinction burst? Have you read the books? And explored your personality type(s) and emotions? Since doing this work, I still have times of flares of strong pain again, and I catch myself and talk to myself, and remind myself what I know, and acknowledge that there is probably something I don't want to feel, that this is the work of the pain (symptoms), and depending on the moment, I might ease off what I was doing, or I might carry on, and 100%, either way, I have been ok. No harm done. And I do my best not to go over and over it, not to start thinking about how I can fix or cure the pain, and not to start critising myself for not doing all this 'good enough.' I'm so glad I didn't stop my work (which at one point I was really concerned about my ability to continue!) and that I was brave enough to just start walking again, and start doing yoga again, and lately, even picking up the kettlebells again. And I'm a musician and teacher, so through it all, I'm playing piano, clarinet and flute, and there was a time when I could barely make it through a rehearsal, with flute, especially. Yes, whatever the varitey, whatever the activity, yes, there are many who have come through it.

 

[Mark1122]

Hi Mark1122. Have you heard of extinction burst? Have you read the books? And explored your personality type(s) and emotions? Since doing this work, I still have times of flares of strong pain again, and I catch myself and talk to myself, and remind myself what I know, and acknowledge that there is probably something I don't want to feel, that this is the work of the pain (symptoms), and depending on the moment, I might ease off what I was doing, or I might carry on, and 100%, either way, I have been ok. No harm done. And I do my best not to go over and over it, not to start thinking about how I can fix or cure the pain, and not to start critising myself for not doing all this 'good enough.' I'm so glad I didn't stop my work (which at one point I was really concerned about my ability to continue!) and that I was brave enough to just start walking again, and start doing yoga again, and lately, even picking up the kettlebells again. And I'm a musician and teacher, so through it all, I'm playing piano, clarinet and flute, and there was a time when I could barely make it through a rehearsal, with flute, especially. Yes, whatever the varitey, whatever the activity, yes, there are many who have come through it.

Yes ive been on and off with TMS for 3 years+ i have readt like 5 books and rereadt some of them. I definately have the personality traits.

At first i wrote about emotions and past emotional things that happened. But that didnt seem to do a lot. I am in psychotherapy right now though for about a year but just lately ive been making nice steps with that since i was depressed at home 24/7 which kindof halted the progression i made in therapy. One thing i really found out and kindog already knew but maybe didnt realise enough is that it was never good enough for my mother and i always seem to be obsessive with things never happy with what i accomplish. And my mother is still like that as well.

The next step is to sortof going back there and feel the pain i had deflected back when i was little. This might be surpressed. So i know some things that werent good for me in my younger years but it hasnt helped yet, so i think i might really have to feel the pain it caused which might still be surpressed.

Other than that i know about extinction bursts but it doesnt seem its that but who knows. I am not obsessing about the pain a lot, sometimes i get a bit scared because i just commited myself to a 12 month job (only 3 days a week though to not overdo i). But im scared sometimes i cant do it anymore. And sometimes i am a bit insecure about my pain because i did work behind the pc for 16 hours a day for years and years, gaming, working etc. Cant be good i guess.

So yeah typing this now i see that there is still some doubt but its less than it used to be since i had some MRI and EMG and EKG (heart) etc which were good.

Im happy to here you are making good progress gigves me some hope as well.

 

[Aimee88]

It doesn't always resolve instantly. My experience is that as I uncover old feelings, old hurts, old anger, and then also practice awareness of my feelings in the present, the healing happens, and one day I notice, oh, I haven't even thought about pain today. Then, gradually there are more and more of those days. Here, just before Christmas, I was needed for some long days of physical (lifting and moving) jobs, and I did them willingly, and enjoyed it mostly, even though I was aching and tired at the end of the day. I celebrated that I could life 25kg of potatoes, and help load a van, and move 8 boxes of bananas myself. And my muscles were hurting a bit, because I used them! And, I have gone back for a quick re-read of Mark Sopher's book. Because those personality traits (of not being good enough, of not wanting to make mistakes, of wanting to please everyone and be the hero) are not erased, and to see just what I might have forgotten. Good luck with the work. Celebrate everything you can think of.