TheNewYorker
Newcomer
Last night the my pain got worse the longer I stood in the kitchen and made dinner. Within 10 minutes it was excruciating. I had serious doubts about TMS and finally relented and took half a Vicodin.
This morning I got up and did more reading, and then did the Day 2 tasks. I felt okay walking around the house, but was still worried about "triggering" another bad period of pain. I had to go shopping, to two separate places today. My partner was worried and said he'd go with me but I said, "No, I need to function normally and see what happens." Then he gave me all these warnings about not packing bags too heavily and letting him bring them in, and I repeated what I said.
So off I went, first the store I hate going to on Sundays because it's crowded and loud and on the best of days, when I have no pain, it still overwhelms me. I was fine for the first few minutes but the pain started up and I was limping. Up then I started to feel hot, and weak, and I knew this was anxiety. I nearly abandoned the cart and left, but instead I pulled into a quieter aisle and told myself that this was just anxiety and TMS and I wasn't going to die or faint or get injured. I finished shopping and stood in line at the register, where my cart became a walker. I'm sure I was wincing.
Then the guy started ringing me up and rather than standing there I busied myself bagging. He started to ask me about the beer I was buying and we chatted and I realized that when we were talking I felt no pain. This was a revelation. On my way out of the store I still felt pain, but it wasn't that bad anymore.
I headed to the second store, telling myself that if it was also crowded I'd give myself a break and skip it until tomorrow evening. The parking lot was empty so I went in. I had some pain while walking around, but not terrible and when it asserted itself I busied myself reading ingredients on what I was buying and it went away.
I got home and carried 8 bags of groceries in, deliberately putting the heavier ones on my problem side (my issue is chronic sciatica and other issues on the entire lower left side of my body). I'm sitting here feeling a dull ache, and my foot is asleep (which isn't unusual), but otherwise okay.
I'm going to go for a walk around my block tomorrow and see what happens.
This morning I got up and did more reading, and then did the Day 2 tasks. I felt okay walking around the house, but was still worried about "triggering" another bad period of pain. I had to go shopping, to two separate places today. My partner was worried and said he'd go with me but I said, "No, I need to function normally and see what happens." Then he gave me all these warnings about not packing bags too heavily and letting him bring them in, and I repeated what I said.
So off I went, first the store I hate going to on Sundays because it's crowded and loud and on the best of days, when I have no pain, it still overwhelms me. I was fine for the first few minutes but the pain started up and I was limping. Up then I started to feel hot, and weak, and I knew this was anxiety. I nearly abandoned the cart and left, but instead I pulled into a quieter aisle and told myself that this was just anxiety and TMS and I wasn't going to die or faint or get injured. I finished shopping and stood in line at the register, where my cart became a walker. I'm sure I was wincing.
Then the guy started ringing me up and rather than standing there I busied myself bagging. He started to ask me about the beer I was buying and we chatted and I realized that when we were talking I felt no pain. This was a revelation. On my way out of the store I still felt pain, but it wasn't that bad anymore.
I headed to the second store, telling myself that if it was also crowded I'd give myself a break and skip it until tomorrow evening. The parking lot was empty so I went in. I had some pain while walking around, but not terrible and when it asserted itself I busied myself reading ingredients on what I was buying and it went away.
I got home and carried 8 bags of groceries in, deliberately putting the heavier ones on my problem side (my issue is chronic sciatica and other issues on the entire lower left side of my body). I'm sitting here feeling a dull ache, and my foot is asleep (which isn't unusual), but otherwise okay.
I'm going to go for a walk around my block tomorrow and see what happens.
