In a cycle..NEED ADVICE

[Satori]

Hi Guys,

I was getting better...ran a 5k..relatively pain free for a couple weeks...and have now been in a cycle of pain for 3 weeks.

I cant break it.
My life is very stressful and I do as many things from the ed forum as possible.

I just cant break out of this one.

I feel like i am getting hopeless.

Everyday is the same pain/medication cycle. By 2pm I need to take something.

Any advice is appreciated.

 

[Cactusflower]

Satori,
that is fairly typical TMS. You are doing a FANTASTIC job! Relatively pain free for a few weeks...then what was it that you can think of that may have been a trigger for this current pain? How did you react to that trigger?
Do you have fear, are you doubting that your symptoms are physical or that you can do this?
Is there some underlying emotion you haven't fully dealt with yet?

I have not become pain free yet have had like 10 relapses. I just keep taking stock of what I was thinking, and how I was feeling before the relapse and note how my attitude towards my feelings (eg. not allowing self to feel them fully within my body physically, or judging how I felt about them) - that lets me step back and take stock to actually see those patterns. Relapses are the opportunity to practice what you have learned, to look further into yourself and remind your self that the goal is not to be pain free, but it is to change how you think about the pain, just like you did before running!

Take a weight off of your mind! Stop worrying about 2pm, don't worry about taking medication, that's OK! Remember that the tolerance we build up is not to the physical pain, but to the discomfort of feeling our emotions in our bodies. Pain is an emotional equivalent - to fear, anger etc. This opportunity allows you to dig a little deeper, realize that your journey to self discovery is not over, and that your pain abated for a few weeks - so you know that this TMS work really does work!

 

[Satori]

Thank you so much for taking time to write such a thoughtful reply. I am alone and do not have many friends to support me. So I really appreciated your reply and support. It meant a lot. @Cactusflower

 

[Baseball65]

I just cant break out of this one.

Well that implies it has worked for you before. A lot of times people who have done this and gotten out of pain get extra ...miffed? because there was time when we thought this was over for good... Sarno said it was preventative. Problem is, when not in pain our focus shifts all over the place and we usually end up 'napping' again.
I don't process every little feeling on the way in, and after awhile....zzzzzzzzz. The good news is, since you recovered once all ready you know the process

I am alone and do not have many friends to support me

I just had a relapse and THAT right there is pretty rage inducing, though I like to say "I'm fine... it doesn't bother me". I have been really lonely. Funny part is , even when I am being my usual 'loner' self , I like to be in control of it...e.g. find some company when I need some. ... just right now, nobody is available. I haven't joined a sewing circle, but I have been trying to make myself aware that even though I am CONSCIOUSLY fine, to the unconscious, being alone all the time is scary.
This is sort of an act of creativity..you have to make some educated guesses as to what's going on down there....that's why reviewing the text is so important

 

[Cactusflower]

Satori;
“I am alone and don’t have many friends to support me”
There’s a huge thing right there? Have you really dug into that? How do you feel about it?
I have quite a few friends but only a few who “get” this and can support me, luckily one being my husband. I felt alone at one point because I didn’t understand what was happening to me, looked for external “fixes” and didn’t realize that my sense of aloneness was because I wasn’t comfortable with all parts of myself, especially those I was viewing as negative. Slowly I am beginning to be comfortable with myself in companionable silence and at times the swirling thoughts slow.. and I don’t feel so alone! When I am outside I have birds, trees, an early moon, the scent of a flowering tree, the sight of a butterfly and I am not alone. Sure I crave human companionship but I realize that there is a world beyond that that I can interact with.
As for human companionship, you could join in the weekend chat here - so much support, and not always just about TMS. A friend joined an online women’s writing group and has found immeasurable support. Be creative, get what you need!