I'm not sure how to proceed from here

My particular manifestation of TMS is MECFS. My most notable problems with MECFS is a sensitivity to pain, lack of endurance, and delayed recovery after exercise.


A TMS doctor has told me that my lack of endurance and recovery is brain-based. This is to say, the muscles themselves are fine. It has taken a long time for me to arrive at this position, and come to a place of acceptance.


I think what helped me, is that last week, I was told to simply have faith that this outlook is correct, and decide that it is. I was told that regardless of how exhausted I feel, and how I feel that my body just does not have the strength to do something, I should just calm myself down, and do it. It's this simple.


I saw an interview with a psychologist who suffered from TMS that manifested in a way similar to mine, and she took this approach. Things worked out for her.


So, as of last week, I decided I would work on standing longer. This is a limitation in terms of my being able to live a more normal life. It's easier for me to walk, in some ways than it is to stand. Standing requires that the same muscles be used, without rest.


On Friday, eight days ago, I stood for 20 minutes. This was physically taxing, but it didn't drain me completely. I decided that I'm going to add three minutes every day until I get to an hour, and then add more time every day. The next day,, I stood for 23 minutes. This isn't standing at attention, but standing in a relaxed way, as opposed to being engaged in any real walking. I'm just sort of milling around doing whatever. As the days past, I added three minutes each day.


On Tuesday, I stood for 32 minutes. This was a big deal for me, because I've broken half an hour. I thought wow, I'm on my way. The next day, wednesday, my personal trainer drove me to the gym, and I purposely didn't exercise my legs, because I wanted to be able to continue with the Increases in standing.


When returning home from the gym, my trainer, driving around a curve at between 25 and 30 miles an hour, became distracted, and drove up the curb. The two passenger side tires were in somebody's lawn, and then she came back down the road. I was sitting in the passenger seat, and I immediately felt pain in my lower back. The pain wasn't terrible, but it was there. This was three days ago.


A TMS doctor told me once, that I should imagine walking along and twisting my ankle. He said that the type of person that successfully gets over TMS, is the type of person who is in this situation, and decides to go running two days later, after having rested it for two days . The type of person that sits around babying it, is the type of person that is not actively showing the brain that everything is fine.


He further said that the type of person that sits or lies around, repeating mantras to himself that everything is fine, doesn't get better. The people that get up, and start living life, are the ones that recover.


I'm wondering if I should essentially take this approach here. As for the pain going away, it hasn't. As for being an actual injury or TMS, it is or isn't. I doubt anyone can really say . The day after this all happened, I was actually remarkably calm, and didn't really care at all. I was surprised. I was genuinely able to accept this, and think to myself that things would be back to normal in a few days.


The next day, however, being in pain, I became pissed off. How do I feel about this? I don't know, it kind of sucks. I had just started to turn a page, and then something happened. So if I look at my emotions, yeah I'm pissed. The person who caused my problems didn't suffer worth a damn. Should I feel fine about this? Maybe I should even feel great about this? Well, that's not the case. If I'm being honest with myself, and feeling my emotions, has we are told to do, I'm upset about this. Whether I am upset or not might very well impact my pain levels, or not. As I say, this could be an injury, it could be TMS.


Am I focusing too much on the physical? I don't know, the car went partially off the road, and now I'm in pain. It seems like it might be appropriate to focus on the physical in a situation like this.


By the way, I don't have any visible bruising, the car did not bottom out, and I did not have any imaging studies. I mention this because the same doctor that I had quoted earlier, said that if there is no obvious sign of injury, I should treat it as though it is TMS. I told him that I didn't see this as a valid measure, as when I was in an auto accident many years ago, and my spine was torn, as was shown on imaging, I had no bruising or discoloration whatsoever. He said, that that was different, as the imaging showed something. Whatever. I'm Sure if I work to get imaging in relation to this, it would show absolutely nothing.


So, it's my hope to continue standing, and to start getting my life back. In light of this, I've taken it easy for a few days, which I gave myself permission to do, and feel OK about. It's not imperative that I stick to a strict schedule.


However, going forward from this point, to actually make progress building my endurance, so perhaps I can even go out to socialize on Halloween, I'd like to continue with my standing. Also, continued standing might be a good way to show my brain that everything's OK.


So, if you were in my position, with an achy back, would you stick to this three minute a day increase, or would you just relax a few weeks until everything is pain-free?


Thanks

 

There are people on these forums who will advise you to do far more than add 3 minutes a day as that's what worked for them for their pain/discomfort.

I haven't been able to take that kind of advice and for it to work for me. Reading your story, is like reading about me (in my case even being in a car going very slowly over relatively low, compared to some, speed humps/road humps hurt my back!)... I have gone from being bedridden, unable to stand or walk, with 'fibromyalgia' and chronic fatigue/ME, to functioning pretty well by comparison by taking baby steps, see my posting here https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threa...philosophy-of-kaizen-an-article-a-book.30108/

 

There is fierce surrounding this, and I think that the fear could be mitigated by knowing that it's safe to continue going at the pace I was going. If I think about being sent back, and so forth, I could see it as derailing me.

Thanks for your reply, I'll check out your link