I thought I was doing well, but.....

Upon reading Sarno's book, I started on the TMS path 2 months ago and tried to do all the right things. I have been able to do much more with my hands and arms than before, despite my symptoms, and have been working with the TMS specialist who I like a lot.

Today, I can't get rid of a thought that despite all of my progress, my symptoms (super tight fingers and hands and very limited mobility) did not get any less, I am just less fearful and therefore do more with my hands. Still, the fact that range of motion and dexterity did not improve at all, bothers me a lot. I had to sign an approval document for my employee today and my signature was not even a signature, because I can't really write anymore. I am too embarrassed (or proud) to share my unfortunate situation with anyone at work.

Did not expect myself to be knocked off my feet so easily - but seeing my "signature" threw me into a full-blown depression.... Will I ever recover???? I know it is not an extinction burst - the most concerning symptoms never truly improved, they just remain flat.

 

TG, I think you're doing incredible mind work. I think your body will follow suit, in the same way I'm holding faith that mine will, too. Steve Ozanich had it take 15 months for his worst symptoms to go away. (the Great Pain Deception) So, let's not toss in the towel, yet. I've been where you are about twice a week, so I know how the depression can set in. Sending you light.

 

MWsunin12, thank you so much! This is exactly what I need today. My warmest wishes to you, for your every step along the way!

 

Hi TG - sorry to resurrect such an old post, but maybe you'd be happy to know its power even years on. I just finished reading your book today and felt compelled to look through your early days here on the forum... And this post right here, describes almost to a t exactly what I've been feeling lately. I've really thrown myself into walking despite my symptoms, and I've been pleased to discover I'm able to walk upwards of 8 miles in a day without significant discomfort. But like you here, there's an insidious voice in me that whispers I'm just ignoring the symptoms/nothings really getting better. I'm hopeful that by consistently moving, exercising, bathing in hot water etc in defiance of my symptoms, as well as by doing emotional work and processing, that they will pass... I know that in time, that's what happened for you, and so I should take comfort that I see myself in your words here!

But doubt is hard to shake, and especially for similar reasons like you had early on "no one else seems to have cleared this symptom, what if I'm different, what if I'm delusional, what if it keeps getting worse"... Etc.

Excuse the ramble. I've been very introspective since finishing the book!

 

@tag24 , thank you for the shout out, but most importantly, for being so introspective and rational about the where you are in your journey and sharing your thoughts for the benefit of others!

It is hard to be rational when we are in pain, it is hard to be introspective when we are so well trained by our modern lifestyle to always look outwards and never in! It is such a great idea to trace a success story back to the beginning and understand that every success story starts with the doubt.

What I tell people is that mindbody methods do not work like an antibiotic which clears a disease in 5-7 days, and your biggest enemy is your doubt. But, on the other hand, having doubts is very normal and very human. Accept it as part of who you are. Let them come and let them go, meanwhile keep doing what you need to do. Don't be afraid of setbacks, extinction bursts, plateaus. Those happened to all of us, and will happen to you, too.

I love what you said about defiance of symptoms. It is fundamentally different from ignoring them. Ignoring means repressing your fear of symptoms, defiance means standing tall against the pain, not being a victim!

Best of luck with your journey, don't hesitate to ask questions, there are some great people on this forum to guide you through and support you like @MWsunin12 did it for me 8 years ago. No wonder they have a title of Beloved Grand Eagle! It is my gratitude to them and Dr. Sarno that keeps me active on this forum.

 

Wow, this resurrection of this old post was a godsend to me today. Needed it! Thanks to all and lots of love.