I need a little break from my doctor...

The doctors and surgeons really did a number on me with their diagnoses over the past two years; rather severely.

I have a doctor that's very thorough. I told her in September that I needed a break from her. I have an annual physical coming up in December, and I'm postponing that too. I feel I'm not strong enough emotionally to go back yet. She is caring, but I don't want to hear any words that are going to trigger anxiety for me, and I know she or her nurses will do that.

I'm healthy, so I feel like it's ok for the delay so that I can nurture and protect my emotional side. She's very much into learning different things and open, but I'm just not ready for her yet. When I come out the other side of this, I will be stronger emotionally and physically, and then I can tell her that her "fibromyalgia" diagnose was incorrect. She told me that she didn't even believe in fibromyalgia earlier, so i'm not sure why she wanted to slap that label on me. She also wanted to put me on an antidepressant.

When I was going through the tms severely (and I didn't know what it was at the time) going from doctor to doctor to surgeon to surgeon to alternative therapies to therapies, I wrote to her daily on the portal, and she answered me every time, but she thought I was nuts. She put me on an antidepressant because I pretty much lost it because I didn't understand what was going on. I only stayed on it a few months to get control of myself, but then she wanted to put me on it again and claimed I felt wonderful on it. It really got me angry (there's a little of the anger) because I kept telling her it helped my anxiety, but it didn't do anything to relieve the pain symptoms.

Anyway, emotionally I'm doing well and improving a lot. I'm just not ready to face her right now. I need a break from my doctor...I know there's a lot of great doctors in this country, but I have zero faith in them right now.