I had 10 seconds of complete freedom.

I haven't moved freely for several years. My muscles are usually stiff and often lock up. It often takes me 2-3 tries to get out of a chair. My manual dexterity is also limited. Between these things it typically takes 2-4 times as long as it should to perform even the simplest tasks.

But earlier tonight my wife and I were watching Stephen Colbert (so wonderful to have him back!). She was stretched out on the couch, and I was eating at the dining room table directly behind the couch. I looked up and saw a big black spider slowly descending towards the couch. Suddenly I jumped out of the chair, ran to the kitchen cupboard to get a jar labeled "Bug Ketcher." I rapidly unscrewed the lid as I ran back to the dining room and trapped the spider just as it landed on the back of the sofa. Then I took it outside.

The time between the moment I first saw the spider and the moment I trapped it was less than 10 seconds. During that time I was as limber and agile as I was as a teenager. As soon as the crisis had passed, my body stiffened right back up again. But the experience really drove home the point that my problem is mental, not physical.

Question: How can I take advantage of this experience to regain my freedom full-time?

 

I would visualise the whole spider scenario as much as possible, as that will strengthen that neural pathway. Remember the brain can't distinguish between real and imaginary. It will take some time, but I think you will notice a difference in yourself.

 

I have one concern with that idea. In the spider situation I was facing a strong sense of urgency. I was in a version of fight or flight mode. If I repeatedly visualize it, won't that also reinforce and perpetuate the sense of urgency in my mind? Won't I begin to associate freedom with a sense of urgency? I think that would be counterproductive.

 

As Jan said, visualising the way your body felt during those ten seconds, but changing your perception from fight/flight, to calm. It is just using your imagination in a good, creative way. You could visualise yourself in that ten seconds listening to soft music, seeing the whole scenario in the colour green, thinking what a gift of movement that spider has given you. I hope you get the picture. You can imagine anything you like in that original ten seconds that banishes fear, and replaces with calm.
Practice, practice, practice, till this neural pathway becomes the norm for you. It is basically NLP.

 

Hi, James. You experienced what others have in a fight or flight situation. Some people reportedly have lifted a car off someone underneath it.
Your spider experience is a wonderful "mind over matter" situation. I like Jan's and Zumbafan's suggestions, to visualize how good you felt after dealing with the spider. Keep in your mind the "happy" or calm feeling.

 

Hi James,

Wow - that experience must have been powerful for you! Based on the suggestions I've read from Doctors Sarno and Schubiner, I try to use every "little" success (similar to the experience you shared) as a confidence booster and fear buster and to reprogram my brain.

For example, if you're keeping an evidence list or a list of helpful affirmations, you could add things like:

- "Look, I was fine - I just proved I can jump out of a chair"
- "I am healthy - look, I just ran to the kitchen - look how limber and agile I am"
- "I am healthy, I am agile"
- "I am healthy, I am limber"

For me, the more often I repeat these types of affirmations, the more re-programming occurs in my brain. I literally say them over and over and over again, day after day, and then the changes come as the affirmations soak into my subconscious brain. I find that these affirmations are much more powerful if I can base them on the evidence of a specific experience that just occurred (in contrast to just saying them as a "think positive" PollyAnna).

So, in short, to answer your question about how to use the experience to regain your "freedom," keep repeating affirmations about what just happened to reprogram your brain.

Hope this helps! Sunny

 

Zumba and Jan, I kinda see what you're saying, and I've tried to apply it. I've tried to separate the feeling of freedom from the sense of urgency as I repeat the scenario in my mind. Sometimes I can do it, other times the two stay linked.

Sunny, that is helpful.

 

I echo what Jan says. You proved you could do it. Keep up the good work. If you are a perfectionist, like I am, congratulate yourself for any improvement. It is something to celebrate. I am amazed how a spider has helped you!