How I just healed my shoulder pain with EFT (and exercise)

[Ollin]

OK, I've had this near constant nervy pain from my left calf upto lower back for almost 6 years, and despite fully embracing TMS diagnosis and tons of emotional work it's still there.

But every now and then I've been getting pain in other body parts like right ankle and knee, and a few months ago - my shoulder. Some of them went away eventually as I stopped paying attention to them convinced of being "only TMS". This shoulder pain seemed different though, it felt more 'muscular' and got worse in certain arm positions and during exertion, so I thought there's something physically going on especially during my yoga practice, pole dancing and boxercise. At the back of my mind I was thinking several times "I should do something about this shoulder" but wasn't sure if it's bad enough to go and get it checked, but considered it could be TMS too, at least partially.

So one morning when I woke up with this pain, all the way down to my hand, I though "I should probably skip the boxercise class today, I don't want to risk more damage...but what if it's only TMS, then I would be reinforcing it by avoiding exercise..." and so on, for and back. So I decided that I need some clarity in my mind. I've been practicing EFT for a while now, and although it worked for purely emotional issues, I had hardly any success with pain reduction. But I only wanted to get clear on what to do, not tap directly on the pain, which I believed wouldn't work. I did a few rounds during which I told my subconscious mind that whatever this pain is, it can't be too serious because I don't remember any incident of straining or injuring my shoulder and decided to go on with my day observing how it feels. I rubbed some arnica on my sore muscle saying "if there's some tissue damage, may it heal, but that's all the attention I'll give it today".

Before lunchtime at work I forgot all about my shoulder and I went to the boxercise. My partner happened to be a man, and a strong one too! But when it came my turn to punch, instead of putting forth my 110% effort, I somehow excused myself for doing only 95%. I'm not very competitive, but have a tendency to motivate myself by negative self-talk of being lazy, wimpy, etc. Normally I would think I need to soldier on and ignore my body, but this time I felt I deserved to take care of myself, no matter what others would think. As a result, my neck relaxed as never before and I felt no pain in the shoulder. Not then nor afterwards, no pain down my arm, tense neck and upper back either. Still no pain today even after a serious yoga session with arm balances and shoulder stretches.

Small success maybe, but this gave me confidence that I can address the newly appearing TMS symptoms. As for the older pain, I feel it's there for another reason that just to scare and annoy me. Probably something deeper, safety, repressed emotions. Maybe one day I'll get to the root of it too.

 

[Solange]

I really liked your phrase, 'I deserved to take care of myself.' So often, like you, I will soldier on and ignore what my body is telling me, even when I don't have to.
Today, instead of doing my usual long walk in the morning, I went to a cafe instead and just sat there because the weather was cold and miserable and I just didn't feel like being out in it at the end of a stressful week. I felt so much better for it psychologically.
Sometimes we need to push ourselves on but others we need to nurture ourselves and just give in for a while. The trick is knowing which approach we need on any given day. If you work that out then let me know!

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Ollin, It's wonderful to know you healed, but I hope you won't give up on the TMS theory of pain coming
from repressed emotions and keep looking for yours. That's the way to get to the root cause.

And Solange, I agree to take a break from routine and treat yourself like skipping the walk and going to
a cafe on a cold day. Cold, cloudy, rainy or snowy days can drag down our spirits, so we can give ourselves
a lift by adding some joy to our day, as SteveO suggests.

 

[Ollin]

Solange, this is a great question. My take on "pushing myself or not" is to first determine why am I doing certain activity. If I decide to walk certain distance each day - is it for fitness, for fun, or for practicing mental discipline? And then just before walking out assess whether it will help serve my goal or not. If I do it for fitness, but happen to be really sick with fever today - it probably won't help, as I won't be able to maintain the pace, and more likely will set me back and my training regime even further. If it's for fun, but the weather is miserable and my psyche tells me to stay in a comfy warmth and play with my dog instead - this will be preferrable. If I go out - I may have some sense of achievement by sticking to my commitment, if discipline is what I'm practicing. But all this analysis of reasons for physical training is too left-brained to our subconscious/inner child/reptilian brain (whatever you choose to call it). Our ancestors would train their minds and bodies in order to be prepared for action when it's required. They would only push themselves until they're confident they can defend themselves from predators, natural disasters, catch their food or win their mate. So yes, being fit and alert is important to survival, but any excess effort would compromise this goal by needless spending of energy. I think this drive to continuously improve our results, competing with yourself just for the sake of getting better and better, and basing our self-worth on putting forth consistent high effort is against our nature, and no wonder our mind-body rebels.

I learnt this from yoga, that as long as I practice (the intensity and frequency varies depending on circumstances) it's not about achieving the pose but how I'm getting there, how do I feel in the moment. Can I be relaxed, curious and playful when taking small steps towards some intimidating pose? And I know the better I feel the more satisfying and effortless this journey is. Self-judgment happens, so I just notice it, and it's a signal to do something differently. The same with meditation. I've been told I have to do it each day because otherwise I stop practicing altogether. Complete nonsense. I do it when I have time and external conditions, and have been doing it for over 12 years now, without worrying that "it's not the right way". Works for me, and that's what matters.

 

[Ollin]

Hi Walt, I'm not giving up on TMS theory and the role of repressed emotions (if you read my last paragraph). I'm just proposing that different symptoms may be related to different issues in our psyche. It just looks to me that, as a new symptom shows up "out of nowhere" it seems easier to be banished because it's not yet deeply ingrained in my neural memory, and convoluted with many various aspects of my inner-self, so that simple dismissal of physical cause makes it go away. On the other hand, the old pain which started before I heard about TMS, has a long history of "medical and physical investigations", with all the fears and frustrations, guilt, shame, self-esteem issues, echoes of childhood events, and lots of other stuff. So a lot more "undoing" is probably needed. So no, I'm not giving up on the psychological work, but when I did it for the pain only, I was getting cooked with effort and frustrations. I'm doing it to improve my life (which does need it), and just hope the pain will subside along the way.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Thanks for explaining, and I agree that the old pain with its fears, etc. requires more attention. I am confident
that the pain will leave you when you keep working on TMS repressed emotions and maybe personality traits
that create anxiety and stress.

I'm glad you're no longer worrying about "the right way" to heal with TMS. As Dr. Sarno says,
everybody's different. We walk our own path, using the healing techniques that work for us.

Believing we are going to heal is one of the main things.