How I’m getting better

Hi newbies! And hello to my gurus in this wiki. I have been here since March. I am starting to crack the code, so to speak. My body is very very tightly wound. All of my current symptoms are part of that, to the point of making walking difficult without assistance.

This past week or so, some very small changes are taking place. My body is loosening. I have less pain. The electrical buzzing is gone. The gripping vice around my knees is gone. The cramping in the middle of the night: gone. I’m stronger physically. I still have plenty of symptoms left. But these changes are enough to completely encourage me that what I’m doing is WORKING!

These changes are so slow and so small as to enforce the concept that this will take awhile. I’m not a “book cure” this time. I’ve known about TMS and Sarno for 7 years. I was book cured of my symptoms when I first read Sarno. But like for most people, my symptoms reappeared some years later. And mainly after a very sustained period of severe stress during the pandemic era. The pandemic was part of what caused my TMS, but mostly my personality didn’t weather that time well. And I had other personal problems. Some I was aware of and some I learned about through journaling and psychotherapy.

So WHAT’S WORKING? It’s the question everyone asks on the wiki the minute they land. And I did too!

1. Pretending. Faking it. Believing it. I AM NOT SICK. My life is glorious and mine to live. There is no doomed future anymore. This is a very cheerful outlook. I’m cheered up. I anticipate good things just around the bend and I dream of them all day, every day. This is a turnaround from focusing on the tragedy and urgency of getting better from TMS. I think thankfully only of what I can do, not what I can’t do. This takes mental discipline, but it’s getting easier.

2. Distraction with FUN. Games. Books. Movies. Music. And a LOT of it. I’m playing n all my free time! This has helped me remember what it’s like to not think about TMS. Pain recedes when you’re having fun!

3. I stopped thinking I have to heal fast. I just gave it up. I’m prepared to do this forever. I started accepting it. I stopped obsessively trying to heal.

4. Doing the healing work daily in reasonable amounts. Reading and listening to TMS material. Journaling. Therapy. Listening to the advice I get on the wiki and DOING IT. These gurus have healed. They know what to do. It’s incredibly valuable advice. And much of it was alien to me at first. I just kept posting questions, discussing, reading and learning on the wiki from other people’s posts and the answers they got.

5.Positive head talk. All day. Every day. Countering every dark thought. Projecting only the positive. Talking soothingly to myself. Like I’m a child that needs comforting. It felt strange at first. No more judgement. No more driving myself. No more nonstop goal setting. The key is to make your entire head talk different. Make it ONLY GOOD.

6. Eliminating emotional strain from other people. For some, this has required parting ways with them. A difficult but needed choice. For others, it has required detaching from their emotional baggage so I can travel lighter under my own power. Carrying someone else’s pain or anxiety limits progress. I can see that now. (Journaling made all of this possible, along with discussing and support on the forum.)

Note: Recovery is not symptom-specific. All TMS heals the same way. Whatever that way is for you. I tried other things, but the things above clicked for me the most, so far.

Another note: I got worse before any changes came. I was very discouraged, but I just kept going. And I will still keep going. For as long as it takes.

 

Diana! You’re amazing!! I’m so happy to hear that you’re not only feeling better but also thinking better!!
I think thinking better and all the other positive things this work is doing for our brains is going to end up being the thing we appreciate the most on the other side of this.

 

Thanks! I totally agree!!!

 

I LOVE this post so much. Great job, Diana. Thanks for sharing with everyone.
You have nailed it.
This is what it's all about.
Fake it til you make it. Have fun.
Symptoms? So what!
Do the work. Journal the shit out.
Get rid of the baggage.
You go, girl!!

 

Thanks for all your support and help, @Booble!

 

@Diana-M well done very, proud of you. Keep up the good work and thank you for giving us hope to carry on.

 

Full disclosure! Well, so typical. The minute I bragged that I was feeling better, my symptoms flared and I got all discouraged and downhearted. I rallied, but the battle is real! It’s a battle of will, in my opinion. You have to keep yourself optimistic and also learn how to just ignore symptoms. This is an ongoing challenge. It’s like we’ve all said before, “What choice do we have?” This IS the choice: Carry On!

 

this happens to me all the time and just happened this week! Luckily, while it was upsetting that it felt like progress had halted I didn’t let myself start to worry that it was back to stay, or lose hope! And it sounds like that’s what you did too! So congratulations! I think it’s okay if we feel bummed out about stuff like this, it’s more important how we react. Do we let ourselves feel bummed out and then move past it? Or do we throw the baby out with the bathwater and go back to catastrophizing and worrying? I’ve noticed that even if I do get bummed out (I can’t control it) if I let it pass and don’t let myself get too pessimistic my progress may get better again or even go right back to where it was before the setback.

I think because there is so much emphasis on not giving the symptoms our attention it seems like we’re supposed to beat back our emotions about set backs but that to me seems like the opposite. I mean we’re in this situation because we repressed our emotions in the first place!

you’re amazing. Diana. I’m so glad to have your insight and watch your journey. It has been so helpful for my own journey!

 

@ValkyrKai,
It means everything to me that my journey is helping you! Thanks for telling me that. I truly hope I can help. I like everything you said. Yes! We have the right to feel mad about setbacks. But it is really good we aren’t letting it hold us back. We are going to get there! As long as we don’t quit!

 

Isn't it funny how this happens?

I enjoy reading your posts, Diana-M. And I'm rooting for you. Great progress!

 

Congratulations….I'm back on this after 6 years and I really like your list. All of your points are right on! The fun part is where I have the hardest time! I need to have more fun!!

 

Thank you so much, @HealingMe!

welcome back! Yes, Fun! So easy for us to forget about it when we have TMs.