Alan G. Help with pain

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Question

I'm embarrassed to have fallen into the trap again. I was diagnosed with TMS 2 years ago but that only confirmed what I learned years before after reading one if Dr. Sarno's books. Either once per year or every two years the intense back spasms return. I try to ignore the pain but cannot. Most of time. This past weekend was not an acute attack but a dull pain that I ignored for 3 days. Weekend over it was back to the gym before work as usual. I couldn't wait to exercise and release the fear. As I got closer to the gym my back started to tighten. Started to sweat. I'm screaming at myself to push through it. As I parked the car the spasms came. I got out of my car determined to fight it. I lost. Got back in the car and drove the 30 miles home. I know what the problem is yet the fear beat me. Again. Frustrated and embarrassed

 

[Alan Gordon LCSW]

Answer

Hi Charlie,
You're working way too hard. You feel shame for the pain coming on, you're trying to "push through it," all of these things actually feed the pain cycle. It's okay. Take a breath. The pain will go when you don't need it anymore. You don't need to push it away or power through it or get rid of it.

If you just accept it, neutralize the shame you feel about it and the fear you have of it and frustration you feel over it, it will fade. Just live your life. And enjoy it. you can enjoy life even with back tightness. And when you do, you undermine its very purpose, and before you know it's been gone for several hours and you didn't even realize it.

Alan

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[Ftaghn!]

I always enjoy your answers, Alan, for one particular reason: even if you take TMS entirely out of the picture, it's still relevant advice.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Ftaghn. Driving 30 miles to get to a gym sounds like a waste of time to me. You can probably exercise just as well at home by watching videos on Youtube or buying some inexpensive home exercise equipment. But if you're determined to go to the gym, keep going. Focus your mind on how you like it and it will help you, and for sure do the deep breathing.

I get my exercise by doing things around the house and yard and walking my dog. It's free and I don't have to drive. And I never liked gyms because they play rock music which I hate.

Here is a quote on fear from Oprah Winfrey. I'm not a big fan of hers but quotes like this are helpful: “The thing you fear most has no power. Your fear of it is what has the power.”