Having rapid up and down swings

I'll have a few days where I feel very connected to life, a lust for life and excitement and even a fearlessness. Sometimes this is triggered by a memories from the past or seeing an old picture, hearing a song I forgot about from a decade ago that I like - like these things are opening me back up. And no surprise, the symptoms pretty much disappear. And then it seems after a few days the numbness of life sets back in and I shut off again. It's almost like an exhaustion or mind fog that I can't break out of.

The trouble is these seems to come somewhat randomly and I cannot force them to happen and if I do I think it makes things worse.

Does anyone relate to what I am speaking of? And any advice on how to cultivate and retain this openness to and 'zest' for life?

 

I relate to this like 1000% haha. I’ve been going through the same swings. I think it’s just part of the process. I can tell you those periods of openness and relief have started to get longer and longer for me at least. It seems to correlate with the bigger picture of addressing the more difficult things in my life that I’ve been avoiding for a long time, and having a looser grip on everything while paradoxically having more confidence in my ability to handle things. I think you have to just give it time and keep on doing what you’re doing; I’m taking these moments of obvious progress as a sign that what I’ve been doing has been working and that it’s just going to take my brain some time to rewire.

 

It sounds like what you are feeling is nostalgia. Cultivating an appreciation of the current time seems like it would help. There is a wonderful and simple tool that I use for this, and that is a Gratitude Journal. Just spend a few minutes at the end of the day thinking about 3 things that happened during the day for which you are grateful. It can be something simple like your first cup of coffee or something more complex like a conversation you had with a friend. It may be hard at first, but gets easier with time. This simple exercise trains our minds to look for the positive events that happened in our day, instead of our usual habit of picking out what's wrong. This focus on what's wrong is our primitive brain's survival mechanism, as it thinks it is keeping us safe. But in fact it is sucking all the simple joys out of life.

Enjoy!

 

In addition to @Ellen's advice regarding keeping a gratitude journal, my suggestion is to also look out for and savour 'glimmers'. Glimmers are subtle, joyful moments that spark calm and safety in the mind and body. Some examples:

Sensory Examples

• Feeling sunlight warm your skin or hearing birds chirp on a walk.
• Smelling fresh coffee brewing or rain on grass.
• Noticing a pet's soft fur or a child's laughter.

Social Moments

• Receiving a kind smile from a stranger or a hug from a loved one.
• Sharing a laugh with a friend.

Home Comforts

• Sinking into fresh sheets or savouring the first sip of tea.
• Watching a sunset or wrapping in a cozy blanket.

 

Completely agree