Day 16 have you told anyone?

[Leslie]

I thought this was a very interesting 'question to ponder'. Personally, I have told several people. I told my very supportive husband the day I discovered the information. At that time, what I now know to be TMS, and a long battle with anxiety/depression were tied up in a great big knot and I was not trusting a single thought in my head. I showed him everything I had found to get his opinion...had to make sure it made sense to a rational person! He told me to get to work on the program right away and has checked to make sure I'm keeping up with my assignments still (he really loves me!)

I have also told some members of my family and my massage therapist. All of them were very supportive and thought it made sense (including the therapist who was setting out to buy one of Dr Sarno's books to see what she could learn to help her other clients).

There is one member of my family that I have very deliberately NOT told however. The more I learn, the more I can see this one person in every single instance. Decades of searching for the "it" that causes the problem. IBS, mytro valve prolapse, fibromialgia, migraines, that's the short list. I have specifically NOT told this person for two reasons. 1, this person can push my buttons, manipulate me and make me feel guilt beyond anything any other is capable of - those are not risks I am willing to take at this point. I NEED this to work. I am SOOO tired of looking for the "it". And 2, this person is so predictable (and others have agreed when I shared this reason with other family) that inevitably, the only take-away from the book would be "Leslie thinks I'm crazy and my problems are all in my head".

 

[Lori]

Glad your hubby and some family have been supportive. I told my immediate family and one friend and boyfriend who were all very supportive of my getting out of bed to be better!

I tried to tell someone who was married to my relative who had bad TMJ that was blamed on a dental cleaning but she responded with "my pain is real!" $%^& my pain wasn't?!?!?" Sadly, she continued to have TMJ. I never brought TMS up again to her.

OK, so back to you and I have some ideas. I wonder why the one relative pushes your buttons so much and makes you feel guilty? I think I would take the opportunity to journal and see why the real underlying issue with this person is. (I'm speaking from experience). I have to agree the list of ailments they have sound like mind/body issues, but not everyone is ready to hear this. Perhaps write them a feelings letter (not to be mailed!) and see what comes out as your emotions are spewing?

Best wishes!

 

[Leslie]

I would have to say life-long conditioning is my best answer for why this person pushes my buttons so well. This person held a big role in my upbringing. The issues I'm aware of with this person run deep and I suspect there are a whole host of others I am not aware of. I have journaled specifically about this person and I have also found this person sneaking in when I'm writing about other things. The guilt is an easy one, that's theway a "good girl" is supposed to feel when she's doing something that displeases...and I know from experience I am pretty much always displeasing. In fact I know it so well that I don't need this person to even tell me anymore, I can do it all by myself now (and unfortunately do - that's a pattern I'm working really hard at breaking).