Has anyone had this symptom??????

[G.R.]

Hi, Two days ago my husband was helping off the couch and when I started walking I felt like
my upper left thigh hurt and I had difficulty putting weight on that left leg. It is very painful
to walk and it is like I am crawling in order to make a step.

I believe I had this symptom a few other times and it always did go away. Even though I could
hardly walk, I had an appt. for a haircut on Friday. And, with the help of my husband I decided to go.
I held so tight to my husband and crawled into the hairdressers. It was such a sight!!! But I did it even in
pain.

Then, today my husband encouraged me to take a little car ride. I once again had to hold ever
so tightly to him. We only stayed out for a short time but I don't want these symptoms to control my life.

Then, when I came home I tried to walk around the dining room table twice; I was in intense pain but still did it with pain and now came to lay on the couch.

I am so tired but I keep telling myself I am getting better and better no matter what it looks like.
I am thinking psychological and am trying not to let this new symptom to distract me but it is really a
Catch 22.

Has anyone ever had this symptom that it feels like they pulled something in their leg and could not
put their weight on it? I know I did not do anything that could physically cause this. Please,
tell me your experience and how you handled it. Thank you my dear friends.

 

[Anne Walker]

Oh, I sure am sorry you are going through this. Sounds like you are getting tested big time. About a month or so ago I had an intense pain in my piriformis(butt muscle) on the right side. It hurt to walk and it hurt when I was lying down. It was one of the few times i had trouble sleeping because of the pain. I found it very discouraging because of all the pains and symptoms I have had all over my body the last 20 years, this was a new one. I felt like it was robbing my of my ability to go on long walks, something that I really enjoy. It lasted 3 or 4 days and then slowly got better over a week or so. Now it is gone and I don't even think about it. I feel like I am continuing to get better and for whatever reason my subconscious keeps throwing things at me. The new and unfamiliar is always the worst and most effective, isn't it? Stick with your TMS work and hopefully your leg pain will be a distant memory soon and you will be stronger and more resolved because of it.

 

[G.R.]

Thank you, Anne. You are so right the new and unfamiliar always tries to through you off.

Anne, did you journal consistently? I am trying to journal consistently but there is such a resistance in me. I guess I just don't want
to look at those repressed emotions. I am going to move forward with the journaling with great love to myself.

 

[Kev74]

Yup, that sounds almost exactly what I am dealing with right now. It's primarily in my inner left thigh but I can feel it behind my knee also. I can stand on it with some discomfort. It's when I go to walk when it really hurts. I think it's slowly starting to get better I just wish I knew what caused in the first place. There's no swelling, inflammation, or redness, and I did not exert myself in anyway. I went to the doctor and they suggested ibuprofen or Tylenol, which seemed to help "some". I've been to the doctor so many times in the last 2 years that I'm starting to wear out my welcome. I'm having a hard time journaling as well, I've been pretty discouraged lately.

 

[Anne Walker]

G.R. I do journal, but not every day. I tend to journal when I am really upset. I do see a somatic experiencing therapist every two weeks and that has been helping me a whole lot. At first I wasn't sure and now I notice progress every time I see her. I feel like its having a snowball effect. I think its a great idea to move forward with the journaling and I love how you added "with great love to myself." That is the key, isn't it? So easy to say and so hard to practice.

 

[Ellen]

I guess I just don't want
to look at those repressed emotions.

Hi G.R.,
So sorry to hear that you are going through so much pain right now.

I think your statement above is key. My theory about why journaling works to decrease TMS, is that it demonstrates to our unconscious that our conscious brain is willing to look at our emotions. And if our conscious is willing to be aware of and to feel our emotions, then there is no longer any need to distract us with pain.

It is hard at first to do this because of fear. But with every experience of honestly facing an emotion and feeling it and letting it pass through you, you become stronger. You are no longer threatened by your emotions, and the need for TMS decreases. It is freedom.

You can do it. Doing it with love and compassion towards yourself, as you state, is key.

Sending you healing energy......

 

[G.R.]

Thank you, Ellen for your kind words and encouragement. I am going to start journaling this afternoon. When I was doing it I did
get symptoms to go. I am going to use the Schrubiner's Unlearn Your Pain book. I was reading Nicole Sachs book on how the
journaling really helped her.

 

[G.R.]

Kev24, I totally understand how you are feeling with discouragement. I try to keep my thinking clean meaning I capture
every thought that would create me to spiral downwards. It takes hard work but I don't want to be down.

Are you busy with your life Kev24? Because I find if I can see friends and family that makes me very happy and TMS
is in the background.

I just keep telling myself I am getting better and better no matter what symptoms I have. I think it is important to
talk to your body in a loving, kind way in what you want it to do.

 

[Kev74]

Hello G.R. At the moment I have a lot of free times on my hands, which probably isn't a good thing. I try to distract myself and not dwell on it. I think your right about not letting it control your life. How's your leg doing today? Mine is getting better very slowly. My only concern is will it return?

 

[North Star]

Oh, G.R. I haven't had that particular pain but I've been getting weird new stuff thrown at me too. It's actually embarrassing….my big toe hurting. Or my throat will get choked up swallowing. I have to be VERY careful about what I expose myself to cause I swear it goes into my subconscious for later use. I have to force my self to keep my sense of humor in this. But today, I actually thought about seeing the doc for some meds because the return of the lingering headache is dragging into it's 4th day and it gets oh so tiring to be battling TMS when you're worn to a nub. So far, I'm going to continue riding this out by speaking to my brain.

I know part of my issue is the nasty weather. Everything is white and gray…from the skies to the snow on the ground. And I'm a sunshine girl. I get angry because walking is just out of the question given the snow, ice and mud.

I need to get back to journaling. I think it has helped but it certainly isn't a linear path to healing by any means!

And yeah, your comment about talking to your body in a loving way is a good reminder.

 

[Nicole J. Sachs LCSW]

I'm just taking a moment to read some of the threads on the forum, and I would love to gently encourage you all to continue with the journaling effort, and to surrender to the fact that avoidance of the effort (and I am WELL AWARE of such a feeling,) really stands between you and a pain-free life. I watch it every day in myself and my practice, and am always quick to push myself back into the sh*t. Sorry, I swear a lot. It helps with TMS! Good luck to everyone, and keep it up. I am always happy to help. Find me at www.meaningoftruthbook.com. xoxo Nicole