Greetings from Chicago!

Greetings everyone, it’s really great to find this forum!. As I start my TMS healing journey, I’m hoping to learn from others. I’ll start by sharing my story:

My name is Scott. I’m in my late 50s, and living here in Chicago. I suffer from two primary conditions; and I suspect they are very related: Chronic Lumbar Back Pain, and recently diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

Childhood / Young Adulthood
My childhood was a mixed bag, really. I had a decent, relatively stable family life, but with a father who was pretty abusive both verbally and physically, it was certainly a breeding ground for a lot of anxiety and phobias.

My young adulthood would occasionally find me with a quick, sharp back spasm every now and then that wouldn’t last but a few seconds. In 2008, I bent over to fill my bike tire with air, and WHAM-O! I remember actually thinking, “Someone shot me!”. Excrutiating pain just to the right of L4/L3: very focused - then suddenly it spread in a wide band across my entire lumbar area on both sides from S1 to around L3.

The pain calmed after a few days, and from then onward I would have a similar spasm once a year until around 2019 - when things took a drastic turn.

Lumbar Back Pain
In 2019 my lumbar back issues became a serious, nearly continuous problem. I saw a neurologist, and had the customary MRI and X-Rays done (which basically indicated nothing was wrong - the typical slightly degenerated disc, a couple of minor bone spurs, etc. Nothing that would indicate the excruciating level of pain that would hit me on a regular basis.).

I did physical therapy (multiple times throughout the years, actually, with no real improvement), and was ultimately referred to a pain management doctor. I then received Radio Frequency Ablation treatment, bilaterally at S1 to L3, approximately every six months. This provided substantial relief from 2019 to around 2024 - when it started to become less effective.

With the effectiveness of RF ablation decreasing, my current pain management doctor wanted to instead try a buprenorphine patch in combination with tramadol and tizanidine. I figured, ‘why not?’. From Oct 2024 until Oct 2025, things were okay - more pain than I had been used to, but manageable. During the 3rd week of November 2025, the pain began ramping up and by the 2nd week of January, it was constant and fairly severe. What also began to steadily increase was my anxiety….

Generalized Anxiety Disorder
I’ve suffered from anxiety my entire life, but only sought treatment and received an official diagnosis this past January. I decided to take a 3 month leave from work during the third week of January 2026 to begin an intensive virtual outpatient program here in Chicago. I’ll be wrapping up the program at the end of March. It was incredibly hard-going for awhile there - dealing with newfound crippling anxiety and the ongoing back pain, but I’m certainly much better now, thankfully. The therapeutic skills, in combination with the anxiety meds, have been working.

It was never lost on me that my back pain and anxiety were most likely related, and there’s no doubt that much of what happened to me in my childhood had laid the foundations for both. I’m particularly eager to learn more about my anxiety, and if it too might simply be another form of TMS? I’m so new at all this, I cannot successfully answer that question yet.

Today
Two years ago a friend had recommended that I read Dr. John Sarno’s Healing Back Pain; explaining that it had cured his brother of horrendous back pain. I dismissed the notion of reading the book immediately; it sounded like a bunch of touchy-feely, new age, alt-med nonsense. A month ago, I was looking through my Kindle library and came across the book. For some reason that I cannot explain (other than Divine Intervention), I had bought the book all those months ago. I decided to read the first few pages, and then move on after confirming it was trash.

I ended up reading it twice, took notes, then read The Mindbody Prescription by Sarno - twice. I’m currently reading “The Great Pain Deception” by Steven Ray Ozanich, and loving it.

“Healing Back Pain” was one of those true ‘lightbulb’ moments in life; where suddenly my years of frustrating pain and failed attempts to ‘fix things’ suddenly began making sense. I began to document every conceivable source of rage and other difficult emotions that I felt were simmering in my unconscious and conscious mind, and commit the various teachings to memory. I count myself as fortunate that at no point did I ever doubt in the validity of Tension Myositis Syndrome, or the fact that I had it…. Prior to reading Sarno I’m not exactly sure what I thought with respect to the source of my pain. Each one of my doctors would remark that it was somewhat of a mystery, but that no obvious standout source of pain was a fairly common denominator amongst their patients. I guess I figured it was one more thing to add onto the ‘life’s mysteries’ list.

As I began to take the first few steps into TMS self-healing, my pain seems to be slightly improving; although very slowly. I’m able to do a bit more than I used to back in January, but I take things very slowly. I don’t get out of the house much; mostly out of fear that I’ll have a painful back incident and/or anxiety episode. I certainly know from reading that I’m going to have to work through the fear(s) in a major way.

I’ve been devouring everything I can on the subject of TMS, and pouring myself into journaling; diving deep into every possible source of rage and those other uncomfortable emotions throughout my entire life. I’ve placed no limits on myself in this process - no topic is too sacred, hurtful, or sensitive. Everything has been fair game. It’s been exhilarating and scary in equal measure - but scary in a wonderful kind of way if that makes any sense?

Tomorrow
I’m currently in the process of setting up my first appointment with Dr. John Stracks at Cormendi Health. I am beyond excited to start that phase of my healing! I remain entirely open-minded and willing.

With that, I have some questions for everyone, if you don’t mind?

Q1: I’m currently on a combo of pain killers that I take multiple times a day, every day. Based on what I’ve been reading I believe that the consensus is that it’s okay to take therapeutic measures like this if the pain is disrupting your life in a serious way. Is that true? What’s everyone’s take on this? I say that I’m open-minded and willing, but am I prepared to suddenly stop taking meds and sit around in agony? That’s a tough one. If the idea is to slowly titrate off the meds once you feel you can, then I’m all in, lol.

Q2: I have another Radio Frequency Ablation scheduled for the 12th of March but I’m hesitant to proceed. Taking meds is one thing, but destroying the nerves again seems like a bad idea in terms of knowing if my TMS treatment is working… What’s everyone think?

Well, that’s it for now. This post was far longer than intended but I’d like to thank everyone for the opportunity to share. I'm sure I'll have a lot more questions but in the meantime I’ll be happy to answer any, and respond as best I can!

Scott

 

Aw Scott, I’m sorry you’ve gone through all this. I truly believe you’re in the right place now and on our way to true healing.
1) depends on the meds and if they’re helping. I think meds are fine for flares/debilitating pain, but if you’re taking heavy duty pain killers on a set schedule in anticipation of pain, then no I don’t think that’s wise. I think the goal should be to get off nonessential medications. Obviously talk to your doctor about weaning schedules and whatnot. But yes meds are okay as long as they aren’t viewed as a cure
2) absolutely do not get this procedure. I’m not a doctor, so take it with a grain of salt. But these procedures just to treat tms pain are beyond outdated and absurd.

 

Hi Scott and welcome!

My first thoughts went to what you said about your MRI results - which sound as if they were practically clear apart from little changes that basically any adult would have (60% of people at the age of 50 who have no pain at all have a bulging disc - which is a greater finding than what was found in your tests by the sounds of it). It makes me frustrated for you that you have been through all that you have from a treatment perspective for the equivalent of grey hairs of the spine, but you didn't know what you didn't know and you're not alone with that path. Having said that, and this doesn't mean those with greater findings can't heal, theoretically I have great confidence in your recovery given this (it's just one less hurdle to overcome).

I don't want to discount the opinion of anyone here, and I have my own opinions (which I've purposely withheld for the reasons below), but Dr Stracks is tremendously experienced and is far more of an expert than I am (he's one of the leaders in the field - if I had to name 10 experts he'd be one of them) - so if I were you I wouldn't be taking too much on board from anyone else (as much as you can, I understand the appeal of doing so), and wait for my appointment. Once you have an expert voice (Dr Stracks being one) it pays to stay focused and stick to one path, if you take too much on board then you risk getting confused and it could impact recovery (everyone has a slightly different strategy, although the overall principles should be the same). I'm only saying this because I know how respected Dr Stracks is in this space - you couldn't be in better hands from what I've heard

Ps: If you have to make a decision beforehand and can't ask Dr Stracks - then I would definitely hold off on the procedure until I see him + I would keep meds the same and not change anything until I see him and can ask him what to do.