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Great little article about letting go of rigid thinking

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by JanAtheCPA, Dec 30, 2023.

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  1. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    This article has some great common-sense tips for resolving to be more open, flexible, and self-compassionate when adopting new healthy habits in the new year: https://www.seattletimes.com/life/wellness/two-numbers-to-ignore-and-three-pieces-of-nutrition-advice-for-2024 (2 numbers to ignore and 3 pieces of nutrition advice for 2024)

    Here's the best sub-section, which can be applied 100% to the TMS recovery process (that's my bolding on the fifth item and the quote):


    Trade all-or-nothing for “good enough”
    There are too many ways that all-or-nothing, black-or-white thinking gets in the way of caring for ourselves. Some things I’ve seen in my clients, as well as friends and family:
    • The idea that it’s not worth exercising if you don’t have at least X time to commit to it.
    • The belief that if at some point during day you “fail” to eat “perfectly,” then it doesn’t matter what you eat the rest of the day.
    • Abandoning a new habit because you forgot to do the thing once.
    • Holding off on doing something new until you’re sure you can do it “perfectly.”
    Perfectionism can stop us from taking positive actions that support our health and well-being, and it can make us abandon new good-for-us habits if we falter, and shame sets in. Shame is never a positive motivator for change. Going for “good enough” and extending ourselves some self-compassion — which is the antidote for shame — can help us keep moving forward. To paraphrase the philosopher Voltaire, don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Think progress, not perfection.

    ​
    Now I'm trying to decide whether to send the article to a friend, who gets up and marches in place if she thinks she won't hit her 10,000 steps for the day - and she does this while we're supposedly socializing. It's not just vaguely annoying - I have also thought that it's obsessive, and she is, of course, prone to anxiety and TMS symptoms. Now we know that not only is 10,000 steps a fake number and scientifically excessive, but that trying to reach it every day might be counteracting health benefits due to the stress of an irrational obsession!
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2024
    JanAtheCPA, Dec 30, 2023
    #1
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  2. HealingMe

    HealingMe Beloved Grand Eagle

    Old article and thread but bumping it. I could relate to all 4 bullets above! It’s about the need for control. I’m letting things go recently and finding feelings of more compassion toward myself and less anxiety. Wow…
     
    HealingMe, Jan 4, 2025
    #2
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  3. feduccini

    feduccini Well known member

    Ok now I'm curious, @JanAtheCPA did you send the article to your friend?
     
    feduccini, Jan 4, 2025
    #3
  4. Diana-M

    Diana-M Beloved Grand Eagle

    Great article! Thanks for bumping it!
     
    Diana-M, Jan 4, 2025
    #4
  5. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Haha, busted :oops:

    No, I didn't, but then again, the only times we got together last year were to go on walks, so the topic didn't naturally come up. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it :p
     
    JanAtheCPA, Jan 4, 2025
    #5
    HealingMe, Baseball65 and feduccini like this.
  6. Bonnard

    Bonnard Well known member

    Thanks! But, your post is a bit longer so I want to read it under the right circumstances. I didn't get a chance yet. Waiting for the right time. Put it aside last new year's b/c I just wasn't journaling right, so I took a break from all TMS work--figured I'd try this New Year's.
    Was going to on the weekend with coffee, but realized I was low on the Hazelnut coffee I love. And, then it snowed today.
    Also, I don't have enough of a familiarity with Voltaire, so I should get some studying in before going there...
     
    Bonnard, Jan 6, 2025
    #6
  7. Mr Hip Guy

    Mr Hip Guy Well known member

    If I may offer a counterpoint...

    I personally work best with a concrete, black/white goal - and I like to start the new year with a new set of - NOT resolutions - but goals that I feel will enact good change for me in the coming year. I usually carryover the ones I think are working, drop those that don't (usually drop those prior to year end) and try to include a number that are specifically NOT physical. In fact I think it's Dave Ramsey that suggests starting each year with goals around 7 different areas: spiritual, intellectual, financial, fitness, family, career, and social. I think that's a pretty good list of categories, but I admit I don't hit all of them with mine.

    In full disclosure, I too have a 10K steps/day goal, which I have hit for now 6+ years running. I'm a runner, so this usually takes care of itself, but on the days I don't run it causes me to take specific walks (I take my dog). I have found these walks to be beneficial to me as a time for reflection, or to let my mind wonder, or to get out of the house, or to take in nature - the list goes on. If I didn't have this concrete goal of 10K steps, would I have made that revelation? Knowing myself, I don't think I would. And that's my point, I think we're all different enough that these things work different on and through us.

    I definitely see your point though - I would be annoyed by someone just standing up and walking in place mid-conversation too. :) So probably the answer is something like the old saying "all things in moderation - including moderation."
     
    Mr Hip Guy, Jan 7, 2025
    #7
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  8. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    :hilarious::hilarious::hilarious:

    You'd best watch out, my friend - - this may be a bit subtle for those inclined to take everything a leeeeeetle too seriously:p
     
    JanAtheCPA, Jan 7, 2025
    #8
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