Going back to work

I’m supposed to go back to work next week and my back pain and leg weakness/pain is at an all time high. My work is very stressful. I am in emergency services. I am having 6/10 bilateral leg pain and back pain. I was going through one of the most stressful times in life recently which was paramedic school, having a baby and when I was lifting weights I may have strained my back but it hasn’t gone away, and that was on June 6th 2025. It’s been almost 2 months of severe pain. I’ve been journal speaking, thinking psychologically, etc but I’m going back to work next week. Has anyone made it back to their manual labor job in pain and been okay? They say I have a disc bulge touching a nerve and retrolisthesis.. whatever that means. I know there’s no correlation with MRI findings usually. It’s so hard to think psychologically when the pain hurts so bad.

 

This is more than likely your TMS brain trying to scare you off from going back. If you hold the line, it will subside. Keep doing what you’re doing. For some people it takes time. Don’t give up!

Lots of people get TMS when they have a baby for some reason— Because it’s a lot of stress. It might take quite a bit of journaling to get to the root of that.

From The MindBody Prescription, by John Sarno:
“When the pain is severe, it is difficult to concentrate on feelings, but you must regard the process as a contest in which your conscious will is pitted against the unconscious, automatic reactions of the brain.”

I know that @Baseball65 is in construction and faces TMS incidences all the time, which he is able to get rid of. Maybe you could DM him for advice or see if he answers this post. He’s not always on here every day.

 

Diana is right, it is very predictable that your pain would be at an "all-time high" right before resuming high physical activity. Diana and I both recently experienced massive flares before travel that would require physical activity (among other things). And going on the trips transformed us both for the better.
Prepare to be surprised by how much you can do at work!

 

Hey there I struggle with what had been diagnosed as a herniated disc and this past year I’ve had a relaxed job that I did part time. No lifting or anything required. I was barely functional. This summer I’ve transitioned back to a food service job that requires lots of heavy lifting and bending and deep cleaning. I was terrified leading up to it. I haven’t been able to walk more than 15 minutes without pain. How am I supposed to work 8 hours a day like that?

someone, my pain has been more manageable than it has been all year of taking it easy. I have painful moments with lifting. Or just standing. I have worse days and better days. Sometimes I try to take it easier if I’m in lots of pain. I have ibuprofen ready. But what’s amazing is I’m able to be there day in and day out. This would have seemed impossible to me 2 months ago. So I’m very grateful to be here. Currently in the journey and working out the pain I feel o n the job, but I’m someone who’s been in your position and have been doing WAY better then I thought I could.

 

YES! Just wanted to add emphasis to this -- fear tries to convince us otherwise, but I'm consistently amazed at how remarkable the body actually is and all it can do that we thought we would NEVER be able to do again.
Be kind to yourself, be in communication with your body and trust that you're on the same team! You got this!

 

I do that by.
-Forcing your brain to think about a financial or personal problem whenever you catch your attention focusing on the symptom (Pg 77 of "healing back pain")
Talking to your head. Get angry. Get seething pissed. "F-ck you...I am NOT doing this with you right now. I appreciate you trying to help, but right now we need to work and you're screwing the whole team with your childish antics"
-DEFYing the symptom....whatever it says you can't do? Do it More!! Shoulder pain? Drop and do pushups. Back Pain? grab something heavy and schlep it around. This is about reclaiming a birthright....a power you have, and will not be deterred from.

I have worked in TMS pain many times...sometimes even in excruciating spasm. One of the most interesting ones happened last year.
I had a back flare up 'out of nowhere'. I was working on a multifloored canyon home and dragging around tall ladders up and down a tight switchback staircase. All of the work was ceiling so I was on 8-12" ladders and 24"s in the stairwell. Alone.

The Homeowner had had like 6 back surgeries and knows about Sarno (not from me) and was literally WANTing me to cry out in pain, surrender, leave early.,...Unlike the normal contest of will with myself I was also having one with the client. He kept up the solicitous "Do you need a hand...you like a little stiff...you OK?"
That gave me extra 'Fuck you' strength to fight through it. I remember feeling scared at 8am wondering how I would work til 4pm....but I just kept focusing on the next task and whenever I caught the pain stealing my attention? I fantasized about beating his rich frat boy ass into oblivion and then asking him "How do you like me now?"...the pain was gone way before the job was done. I believe it was actually about the loneliness I felt and the financial pressure I was under.

But YES, I have gone to work in pain. Many times. It has never lasted more than a couple days, and sometimes the pain began to go away, as I began all of these strategies before I even got there. It has NEVER caused me a problem, the experience is Uber empowering "Look..I just worked through that...Nothing can stop me now!"...and having work to focus on has probably spared me a lot of suffering, not to mention the financial pressure of losing work.

It's also a good time to do an Inventory...something snuck under the conscious radar...maybe it's the job...maybe it's something you associate with positive energy like your kids, a relationship...it started for a reason. Trying to imagine what it could be is the best mental gymnastics I can think of.

You'll be fine.

 

lol

 

I’ll share an anecdote. Scrotal pain was the symptom that made me leave work. I was out of work about 45 days before I picked up a relief shift at a new hospital (I work in veterinary medicine, fairly physically demanding) I was terrified. I wasn’t TMS aware at the time. And I was masking the pain with topical lidocaine which helped. The morning of that shift I applied some lidocaine, but the day went amazingly well and I never had to reapply (10 hour shift, lidocaine doesn’t last 11 hours lol). The shift went so well that I felt ready to resume searching for full time work. But in between interviews and applying I set up another relief shift about 2 weeks after the first. Unfortunately a few days before this second one I developed crippling abdominal pain (what does Sarno say happens if you find a way to mask one symptom without addressing the root?) which lasted months and made me cancel that second relief shift, and stopped my job hunt. That one relief shift I worked in December was the last time I did in person work, and I miss it so much. A month or so after I became TMS aware, and started treating my symptoms as such. Fast forward to February, I’m feeling hopeful and physically okay, I began resuming applying to jobs and searching for relief shifts. And sure as shit as soon as that happens I get a severe bout of TMj that essentially has me unable to talk for 1 month and in severe pain for another month. The situation so bleak that I struggle to apply TMS to my TMJ. And since then I have not actively applied to in person work since.

My point isn’t to depress you or sap your hope. Because what I’ve realized the last month or so especially recently, is that there is never going to be a right time for me to resume work. It’s clear there is a pattern within myself that my brain feels the need to keep my out of work. And there is merit to its argument, because historically working in a stressful field has broken me at times, made me an anxious panicky person. And during those early weeks of scrotal pain insanity I had almost made some serious mistakes at work that sent me into a deep deep spiral that made me put in my notice. But I’m not that same person I was back in September. And I imagine that you’re not that same person you were prior to becoming TMS aware. We’re much different, much stronger and far more resilient. We need to not only tell our brains to trust us and that we’re in charge, but we need to show them, by resuming normal activity, and unfortunately work is one of those activities. You work a very physically demanding and emotionally challenging job, I understand the obstacle in front of you seems massive. But you’ve endured absurd challenges with your symptoms and seemingly (based on you doing the work) have not been broken by it. I think we’ll both surprise ourselves when we return to work. And guess what, assume the utter worse case and you can’t make it through the day, and have to go home early and rethink things. You’ll address that when it comes (IF it comes), but even that result doesn’t mean the situation is hopeless. You’ve gotten through every shit day so far and still ground down and do the work. I truly believe you can do this.

 

Authentic and inspiring.

 

You guys are the best! Thanks for calming me down