Hello everyone,
There is a sense of shame in writing this post because I feel that I have given up on TMS and Sarno. I will explain how I arrived at this conclusion and would love your input.
BACKSTORY: I would say a 1.5 - 2.0 months ago I started to experience pain in my left glute muscle, then it traveled to my hip area, and eventually lower back. The pain started around the time when I was going through a stressful time (a dear family member contracted COVID-19 and put us at risk), a new variant was discovered (am I protected? will I die?) and stress at work ( I am a mental health counselor). I re-read healing back pain, followed Dan Buglio, and did everything I could to tackle the pain as a mind/body syndrome cause. There were days where I thought I was getting better, and there were days where the pain would lay me out on the bed for hours. I would have to call out of work, etc. I did everything I could: I read "The Way Out" by Alan Gordon and followed the protocol as much as I could. In some sense, I felt that I was getting better, and in another sense, I felt that I was wasting my time and nothing was working. The weekend of January 22/23 I started to develop bladder issues, numbness in my lower extremities and groin area. I went to see my PCP on Monday who scheduled an emergency ultrasound on Tuesday to rule out prostate/bladder issues. The Urologist that saw me immediately told me that this was a disc issue and that I needed to go the ER immediately.
MRI REPORTS:
An MRI from 2020 showed that I had a disc extrusion on the L4-L5. I was in pain for a little while but did nothing to address it and it just went away on it's own.
My January 7 2022 MRI showed that the L4-L5 extrusion decreased in size but also noted L3-L4 left lateral extrusion effecting the L3 nerve root. I have no clue how this extrusion happened. I had no trauma or accident other than severe stress around the time the pain came in.
I went to the emergency room and they took me in right away. I got an emergency MRI ( I never received the report of it) and basically because of the neurological symptoms (numbness in my lower extremities) emergency surgery was suggested. From what I understand, my neurological evaluation came out good. I did not lose motor functioning or anything. Just numbness. I ended up getting a microdiscectomy and I am in my second week post recovery. I am doing much better post-surgery but I also understand that this could also be placebo.
I brought this up on a TMS forum on FB and some suggested that not everything is TMS. I know that there is no corrreleation between back pain and a disc herniation but what IF my pain had a physical cause? What if the disc herniation was actually causing the pain? Did I waste my time doing the TMS work?
I feel that I gave up on TMS/Sarno. I am now afraid to try TMS/Sarno again and feel more comfortable taking the physical therapy/ structural approach. I am just afraid that I may experience the same symptoms again if I return to TMS/Sarno. A part of me wants to return but another part of me is scared that maybe the TMS methodology was a waste of time and I did indeed have a structural cause to my pain?
I thank you for reading this and I look forward to hearing from you. I scheduled a coaching session with a TMS coach next month to discuss this further. But I am curious to hear from you all and thank you very much for all of your help.
There is a sense of shame in writing this post because I feel that I have given up on TMS and Sarno. I will explain how I arrived at this conclusion and would love your input.
BACKSTORY: I would say a 1.5 - 2.0 months ago I started to experience pain in my left glute muscle, then it traveled to my hip area, and eventually lower back. The pain started around the time when I was going through a stressful time (a dear family member contracted COVID-19 and put us at risk), a new variant was discovered (am I protected? will I die?) and stress at work ( I am a mental health counselor). I re-read healing back pain, followed Dan Buglio, and did everything I could to tackle the pain as a mind/body syndrome cause. There were days where I thought I was getting better, and there were days where the pain would lay me out on the bed for hours. I would have to call out of work, etc. I did everything I could: I read "The Way Out" by Alan Gordon and followed the protocol as much as I could. In some sense, I felt that I was getting better, and in another sense, I felt that I was wasting my time and nothing was working. The weekend of January 22/23 I started to develop bladder issues, numbness in my lower extremities and groin area. I went to see my PCP on Monday who scheduled an emergency ultrasound on Tuesday to rule out prostate/bladder issues. The Urologist that saw me immediately told me that this was a disc issue and that I needed to go the ER immediately.
MRI REPORTS:
An MRI from 2020 showed that I had a disc extrusion on the L4-L5. I was in pain for a little while but did nothing to address it and it just went away on it's own.
My January 7 2022 MRI showed that the L4-L5 extrusion decreased in size but also noted L3-L4 left lateral extrusion effecting the L3 nerve root. I have no clue how this extrusion happened. I had no trauma or accident other than severe stress around the time the pain came in.
I went to the emergency room and they took me in right away. I got an emergency MRI ( I never received the report of it) and basically because of the neurological symptoms (numbness in my lower extremities) emergency surgery was suggested. From what I understand, my neurological evaluation came out good. I did not lose motor functioning or anything. Just numbness. I ended up getting a microdiscectomy and I am in my second week post recovery. I am doing much better post-surgery but I also understand that this could also be placebo.
I brought this up on a TMS forum on FB and some suggested that not everything is TMS. I know that there is no corrreleation between back pain and a disc herniation but what IF my pain had a physical cause? What if the disc herniation was actually causing the pain? Did I waste my time doing the TMS work?
I feel that I gave up on TMS/Sarno. I am now afraid to try TMS/Sarno again and feel more comfortable taking the physical therapy/ structural approach. I am just afraid that I may experience the same symptoms again if I return to TMS/Sarno. A part of me wants to return but another part of me is scared that maybe the TMS methodology was a waste of time and I did indeed have a structural cause to my pain?
I thank you for reading this and I look forward to hearing from you. I scheduled a coaching session with a TMS coach next month to discuss this further. But I am curious to hear from you all and thank you very much for all of your help.
