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Day 10 Gaining insight

C

Carole Mayer

New Member
I took a break from the program during a vacation week and now i'm getting back on track. In working through all the emotional issues that are part of this work, I realized that I have never really accepted myself and have a streak of self-hate due to the deformity of my scoliosis. Wearing a back brace during the formative teen years was a nightmare for me, and I don't think I ever recovered from it. When I acknowledged that feeling fully, it was a bit of a revelation. I actually went on a beach vacation and felt better, stronger, and not ashamed of my body, even in a bathing suit. I have to confess that there are a number of elements working here... the TMS work, some really good core physical therapy that is continuing to strengthen my body, a little weight loss, and a lot of awareness that my pain is very much induced by my emotions, both conscious and sub-conscious.
I made a commitment to play golf again. I had given it up a year ago, due to the pain of the aftermath of a round. Unlike the cases of others, all of my doctors told me there was no reason not to play, except my own comfort level. Well, I got out there and played 18 holes and felt better than I had in years. No pain at all playing, and no major discomfort later, except what's pretty normal for an aging weekend warrior. : )
Reading something from Dr. Shubiner was clarifying and reassuring this morning. He said that you don't have to give up a program of strengthening and stabilizing. We all have different situations, and in my case, I have very weakened and distorted muscles that will benefit from a good workout program. as long as you realize that the pain is originating in your head...
 
Hi there Carole - it sounds like you are making exciting breakthroughs! Have you read Pandamonium's scoliosis success story?
http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/members/pandamonium.66/

I don't think anyone would disagree with you that if you've allowed your core strength to lapse, you need to build it back up. Dr. Sarno's theory behind "no P.T." is that physical therapy tends to focus on problem areas, giving us special exercises just to relieve specific pain, when what we need to do to really recover is to stop obsessing over individual body parts and engage in full-body exercise and strengthening.

I gave up all my physical therapists and I work now with a personal trainer (who is less than half the cost per hour). We concentrate on different areas every week, and as far as I'm concerned, she is just as knowledgeable as a physical therapist when she explains, for example, how to do a dead lift properly in order to strengthen my lower back muscles. At almost 62, I'm lifting and pressing weights that I would not have believed possible 18 months ago.

Keep up the great work, and keep us posted!

Jan
 
Thanks, Jan. sounds like you are doing great! A new physiatrist i am seeing told me a story about a woman with similar problems to mine but with ten times the pain...the woman became an amateur body-builder and now has NO pain at all. It was very inspirational to me. I agree that it's important to address overall body conditioning. It's great for you mentally and physically. The emotional work is harder! But I'm trying. Thanks for your encouragement and keep up your great work.
 
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