Day 17 From hand to jaw pain

[Moose]

So, I'm officially on day 17 of the program (although I've just had two weeks off due to holiday and general business).

I have to say, this week my hand/arm pain has really dropped. I'm at like 20% of what I was before. I go for hours -hours! - without thinking about it now

However, for the past two or three weeks or so, I've had really bad TMJ/jaw pain. This is my third bout this year (the other two were before I heard about TMS), and each time it's been due to job-related stress. It's been incredibly distracting and seriously impacting on my mood (it hurts to smile! And talk!), which I guess is kinda the point of it. I'm trying to relax and reward myself more, but it's hard because I'm very busy at the moment. It feels like the jaw pain is the only thing between me and feeling relaxed and relatively happy, and I know that because of this it's all the more important to not let it get me down.

The thing is, I now know that my hand pain is TMS, because it's dropped so much despite me working full time. But I don't *know* the jaw pain is TMS - I've always had a clicky jaw that gets stuck sometimes. And that doubt is probably what's perpetuating it. The subconscious is pretty good at these kind of tricks, I think. Also, it's not a straight transference of pain, because my jaw started to hurt a week or two before the pain in my hands dropped. But then again, I wonder if this could have also been my subconscious 'preparing' to allow a reduction in hand pain by putting my focus somewhere else?

Anyway, hopefully the fact that the pain has shifted like this means I'm on to something. And hopefully I can relax and let it not bother me as much... somehow...

 

[Anne Walker]

Hello Moose. You said at the beginning of your post "This is my third bout this year (the other two were before I heard about TMS), and each time it's been due to job-related stress." See, yes you do know this is TMS. And we also know the TMS does not follow any hard and fast rules or set patterns. My symptoms are moving around too and although everyone says this is a really good thing, for me it is scary. Now I am having trouble sleeping and that has not happened to me ever before. It effects everything and makes it very hard to relax. So now I need to regather my strength and keep going.

 

[Moose]

Yup, I think you just have to keep soldiering on. Sorry you're having trouble sleeping - I can sympathise, having always been an insomniac. However, a big positive for me now is that in general, I'm soooooooo much less anxious than I was, and I know my pain now is just an annoyance rather than anything to worry about

 

[Anne Walker]

Yeah, Moose, that sounds so positive!! Hope the jaw pain has moved on. I am sleeping better now. Next time, if there is a next time, I am going to work more on acceptance and not stressing that it might be an ongoing condition. I know the fear that it might be more than one or two nights really accentuated the anxiety and discomfort with it.

 

[Calum]

Hi Moose, great news about your arm pain and sounds like you've been making good progress on the structure program! Like Anne said you've already made the connection between work related stress and the jaw pain and yes I do believe that the sub-conscious can be that tricky, that it could bring the jaw pain on before it let go of the arm pain, it was basically building for a counter attack.

Something I've been doing to convince myself how potent and tricky the subconscious mind is is to look at all the positive ways it uses its potency to help me. For example my work involves a lot of scientific problem solving and I often get stuck whilst trying to think through a problem. However sometimes if I've been wrestling with a problem for a few days an answer will often hit me out of the blue as if from no where often after I wake up from a nights sleep. Its as if my unconscious works on the problem in the background and solves it. This convinces me of its potency as it is able to so quickly solve a problem I couldn't do alone, consciously. Hope that makes sense, not sure how well I explained it?

 

[Moose]

Hi Calum, that makes perfect sense - when I was doing my PhD and was stuck on a problem, I'd always get a new insight if I got up and made a cup of tea or went to the loo! How are you getting on?

I have a feeling my jaw pain might not go until I find out if I've got my tuition fee loan that I need to go back to Uni and change my life! (can't wait, but on the edge of my seat because if I don't get the loan, I can't go). In the meantime, I'm just trying to relax and be nice to myself!

 

[Calum]

I'm having mixed results, days when the pain is very much reduced, even had Friday without noticing any, then days like today where its been pretty bad.

Did you decide to go back to uni to change your life because of TMS and exploring your unconscious and emotions or is it something you wanted to do anyway? I'm not an expert, but telling yourself it won't go away until you know may make it into a self for-filling prophecy?

 

[Moose]

Hi Calum, sounds like you're making progress overall. I definitely have some days that are way worse than others!

I decided to go back to uni at the start of this year, before I knew about TMS. I was quite worried about how I'd cope with my arms the way they were, but now I'm not! Yay!

The jaw is still bad, but the last couple of days it's definitely been worse when I've been extra-stressed. At the moment, I'm in limbo - waiting to see if I have been granted my tuition loan I need to go back to uni. It's hard, but I'm trying to relax whenever I can!

 

[Moose]

Welp, my jaw pain is receding now, but my hand pain has got worse again! So it looks like it's definitely transference, and further evidence the jaw pain is TMS. Oh well, gotta keep going...

 

[Moose]

...and today it's back mostly in my jaw! This is crazy! (And kinda entertaining, in a weird way)