Flipping the script

I realized over time, that there are a couple hours of during each day that are temporally linked to symptoms. And, of course, it's the time of day that things were so very intense at the onset of it all (so there are no mysteries there!), there even seems to be a smell to the air during that time, though I've never been able to pinpoint where it is coming from (brain can create all sorts of things). Everything seems pretty bleak during those hours. My schedule has remained the same so there is quite a bit of conditioning around this. I've been considering all sorts of possibilities to extinguish (both in terms of stimuli and response). Mostly they have been more relaxation oriented / calming / soothing.

BUT, today, spontaneously, I decided to go in sort of the OPPOSITE direction. Decided to find some old random kickboxing-type video with loud music and without another thought just dove in --- done in a much more modified way than I had done years ago, of course --- but did it! Kind of fascinating.

I think my TMS brain was like "WHATTTTTT are we doing? We can't.... you're going to... Um, how long are you planning on continuing this... and then was like... Hmmm, Okay, for a few minutes, it's kind of fun to kick, punch, and bob and weave!"

It "flipped the script" of the conditioning during this time of day a bit, especially since it was an activity I haven't done for years or in my current home etc. And, maybe it's another way to get any of kind of anger out in some way and feel stronger at the same time!

Fun little experiment and looking forward to finding other "script flipping" activities.

 

Interesting re: the loud music too - I just remembered a few months ago even the sound of a text coming through would give me an intense startle reflex!

 

When I went on a big hike a few weeks ago and climbed a rock ladder, my pain symptoms were 0 and no anxiety about it, I was excited to go… and since then have had some symptoms doing things “that should cause symptoms”. Sometimes the script is so lengthy it takes time to re-write it but those moments when it does make us keep going.