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First child going to college... Recurrence of back pain

J

Jen

Newcomer
I am new to the forum but have read the posts often before. I have been successful over the years of curing myself of back and leg pain( as well as heartburn, headaches etc) by recognising it was tms. This time though it crept up on me and I am trying hard to address it. My oldest son is going to college in August and I am having a really hard time dealing with the separation. We are very close and it makes me so sad to realise he won't be here anymore on a regular basis. This week I was thinking about this and also the 11 hour drive to take him to school and of course a day later started getting back and leg pain. I also have a very stressful and busy job, a husband and younger son (3 years younger). I have been trying to continue walking and talking to my brain and I felt some relief yesterday but I know I need to continue. Any thoughts, suggestions are much appreciated. As hard as moving him in will be for me emotionally, I really do not also want to be struggling physically too!
 
Hi Jen. I don't know if I have any useful suggestions but I do very much sympathize with what you are going through. My kids are 13 and 15 years old and it is really hitting me just how quickly it has all passed and how soon I will have to face the same transition you are going through now. My 13 year old daughter is going to a three week summer program in another city on July 6th and we have never been separated for that long before. I took her shopping yesterday and it really started to sink in how independent and grown up she suddenly is. She is taller than me! Rationally, I wouldn't want it any other way but emotionally it is very difficult. If you figure out what helps, let me know!
 
Hi Jen,

Welcome to the Forum!

I suggest exploring the deeper psychological issues between the onset of pain and your sadness about your son leaving. Do you journal? This would be a good way to look at why your brain is trying to distract you from your emotions. Is his leaving triggering issues from childhood when you were separated from a loved one, or your own feelings when you left home for the first home? Look for the source of the inner conflict which is the reason you can't just feel your emotions at this difficult transition, but instead are producing pain. Connecting these deep issues to your current pain will start you on the path to healing. Sometimes when TMS returns, we have to dig a bit deeper in order to heal. But you've done it in the past, so you know you can do it again. Keep us posted on how you are doing.
 
Hi, Jen. Your separation anxiety is totally understandable and as Anne and Ellen have said, they know how it feels.
Maybe your son's going away to college has triggered an emotional separation trauma from your childhood.
Journaling about it could be a big help. And also remember that your son isn't leaving you, he's just going to be
starting a new life adventure that is really good for him. And you still have your husband and younger son
at home with you. Now you'll have more time for them.
 
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