Feeling lost and unsure

I came across Dr John Sarno and TMS about 2 months ago.
I started reading healing back pain and everything that he said resonated with me.

After reading his book and getting the belief in to my head, after about 2-3 days of reading his book, I really felt a reduction in my back pain.
It was noticeable enough and it lasted for 4-5 days until it slowly came back.
I was so hopeful and thought that I finally found the root cause for my back pain that I almost forgotten about it during those 4 days.

I got a bit discouraged when the symptoms slowly came back but I thought it was just part of the process and I just need to continue.

As per his advice, I should continue living life without fear, getting back to physical activity, getting back to doing things you love and practice recognising and releasing deep emotional trauma.

One of the things that I loved doing was weightlifting. While I never stopped exercising and lifting lightweight, I stopped heavy lifting for awhile.
Since the start, I have been checked out by various spine specialists and medical professionals.
They couldn't find of structural issue that are of anomaly besides minor disc bulge and Ive been told that the disc are not the source of the pain. They've cleared me to resume physical activities and even encouraged by one of the specialist to continue weightlifting, I slowly went back to doing it with a guidance of a coach who knows my back situation. I've been doing it for 4 weeks without feeling pain during or afterwards - in fact I feel the less pain while doing it.

Now, I mentioned how the symptoms got better after reading dr Sarno's book but then slowly came back. Well it came back but it didn't came back fully, I am actually somewhat better still than before I read Dr Sarno's book. I continued to read on the topic by reading Nicole Sachs book and Dr Schubiners book. I tried journalspeak but I feel like it's not my style. I did like Dr Schubiners approach better but got kinda lost in the steps.

I am considering his paid online program (freedomfromchronicpain.com) and also the SEP program.

What got to me know is that, and this is partially my fault too. I became unsure of my approach and started looking for answers again online. With so many information and many are conflicting - for example (McGill approach that every back problem has a physical root or different advice on what exercise are 'safe' to do etc), it heightens my anxiety and makes me question my decisions.

Am I doing the right thing by following dr Sarno's approach or should I follow other approach? Am I making things worse by stop protecting my back? Am I putting my back in stress by weightlifting again, there are advie out there that says this is bad and also some who says its actually good? Am I limiting myself to total freedom by worrying? You know, those kind of question.

I feel like I'm chasing the high of what I felt during those 4 days after reading the book but I don't know how.

I am not sure what's the point of my post but I just feel the need to share this with you all. I know most of you probably shared the same experience in your journey.

Cheers.

 

@salamidave
It's OK to have doubts and unsurities. That changes over time, over giving the method a chance.
You began to do a little bit of what Dr. Sarno lays out for us to do as work, but you missed a huge chunk - the psychological part. He emphatically states to think psychological.
You've just been caught up in the physical the whole time, and that's how we all start here, isn't it?
Dr. Sarno lays out his "treatment" plan asking us to dig deep and acknowledge several things, his biggest is repressed rage - although that simply leads to many more repressed emotions deep in the subconscious. He asks us to examine our methods of coping, or another way of saying it is our operating systems: perfectionism, good-isms etc. It's only AFTER this he suggests we begin getting back to normal daily activities and only after fully understanding the science or the mind/body connection.
At this point in reading his work, many of us recognize ourselves on the pages, but putting it all together still creates doubt simply because it's so alternative to everything we've learned.
And it's SCARY.
What we eventually uncover is anxiety. And it's often not just anxiety towards our symptoms, but anxiety in many places in life. We have to acknowledge that our life isn't perfect, that we're not perfect - and that we are OK, we've just developed some habits in life that no longer work for us anymore.

It takes time to unlearn these habits, it takes practice. It's hard and it's messy but it makes life so much more bigger and fuller than it ever was before, and it makes it so much bigger than it certainly is now.

There are a few keys to beginning this work. The first is deciding you are worth the effort to heal both your body and your mind.
The second is picking one single method and just starting. You can choose a method you pay for, you can choose a method that is free. You begin the work and simply see where it goes from there. If you want to change your mind about the method or amount of support, you can do that.
There are no hard and fast rules.
It just begins with a decision.

If you'd like to learn more about anxiety, and those nagging repetitive, doubtful thoughts, any book by Claire Weekes will help you immensely. Her instructions are much precise and work effectively. She didn't write them to treat TMS, just anxiety (which she calls 'nervous suffering') but they work wonders.

 

You my friend are right on time!

You doing the 12 reminders in the morning? Those are a lot more powerful than they seem...It's you slowly telling yourself the truth and deleting all of the old stuff...especially if you're an athlete...modern athletics and weightlifting are chock full of Red herrings about how to life, what is too much, form,etc....you got a lot of stuff to delete.

In the back of "Mindbody Prescription" is the 'Jim Campobello' story.... You might want to read it. I got better with Healing back Pain, but I read it incessantly and circularly, made notes with everything I identified with in the margins of the book, and every morning made lists of ANGER producers in my life.....and THEN I went and did whatever I wanted.

Lots of my friends have gotten better the way you did and then slid back a little....this is a maintenance program. It is a new way to see the world, so we need to keep 'advertising in our own head' so to speak to make it permanent...and it will become permanent.

I stull only do the Sarno mambo and I have been pain free for 27 years with only a few relapses. I always go back to pg. 1 of 'Healing Back Pain' and review where I might have fallen asleep on my feet again. it worked every time. It will for you too.

 

@salamidave
Dave,
You’re doing great! What happened to you happens to a lot of people. Symptoms go away, but then they come back. But do not search on Google for things. That’s giving your brain the message that you don’t believe the mind-body healing method that Sarno laid out. And his very first principle is, you must believe! Think of your conscious brain as a little tiny rowboat, And your subconscious brain is the big deep ocean. There’s a lot going on in that ocean that you just don’t know about, and never will. It’s also stubborn down there. It doesn’t want to change things; it wants to control you. So you’re in a battle now. Think of it as a challenge -like lifting a heavy weight. You’re up to the challenge! Stick with what you did to get the symptoms to go away and keep at it. Force your subconscious brain into submission. For a lot of us, this takes some time. But like I always say, What other choice do you have?