Kristin B. Feel the Feelings, Feel the Pain?

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Question

How to ignore the pain while feeling the feelings.

I believe both to be necessary but I am unable to understand them as separates. I have made tons of progress with TMS working in not giving the pain power. Ignoring. But the long time pain (groin/pelvis) has been difficult so I’ve found a great therapist I love. She’s a firm mind/body believer. We have started at the beginning and she feels that I don’t “feel” feelings. I intellectualize. The old emotional pain is trapped in the body. I need to feel the feelings. And, we feel in our bodies. Not our heads. This is new to me. I am to ignore the pain.... but feel in my body!?! I don’t get it. Help!!

 

[Kristin Borella MFT]

Ignoring the pain can be the most difficult part of the TMS recovery process. That is understandable because the pain is real and let’s face it, pain hurts and it can trigger may other thoughts and feelings, such as “I’m not worthy,” “What is wrong with me,” “Will life ever be the same?”, among many others. These very thoughts are acting as positive reinforcers for the TMS symptoms you are experiencing. What I encourage clients to do is to note the pain, acknowledge it in your conscious awareness, notice it without judgement, and as dispassionately as possible, tend to the symptoms in terms of employing your safety mantra, take five to seven deep breaths, remind yourself that you know this is TMS, and that there is no danger here or anything to be afraid of or scared of. Then find a distraction to change the focus of your mind. This is key. Have a few distractions in your tool box, and focus in on one of them. If you are able to do that and your pain subsides for even one second, that is your evidence, your proof. Pretty soon you will have worked up to a minute, and by doing so you are creating a new neural pathway – one that is not for pain, but one which is free of pain.


Remember: notice the feeling or symptom, employ a neutral disposition, and find your distraction.