Emotions and what to do with them. Do you know?

[TG957]

As I am getting through SEP, I am looking into my emotions and anger is a tricky one.

Well, recognizing emotions is no-brainer. I know I must be angry when my boss unloads on me or my car is rear-ended - that's why my muscles and tendons get tight. But I am not quite sure what is the best way to deal with the situation as far as TMS is concerned. I tried just to acknowledge my anger and move on - did not help. I tried to chew through the situation at 3 am - that's when my inner Monday morning quarterback usually wakes up and keeps me awake telling me what I should have done to handle it right day before. Talking to my brain does not seem to work. My tendons get tight and painful, no matter what I do.

Any advice?

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi TG957,

The first thing to recommend in your work with TMS is that you do as Dr. Sarno suggested and "imagine" what the pressures and experiences are like for your Inner Child. He said "use your imagination." One way to do this is write down what happened (such as what made you angry, or worried) and then write out next to it how your Inner Child might feel. This might be hurt, sadness, rage, or whatever. You may not be sure. That's OK. Remember the Inner Child is young, needy, tender, and wants its needs met.

Also, imagine you are at the receiving end of this:

inner Monday morning quarterback usually wakes up and keeps me awake telling me what I should have done to handle it right day before

This experience, repeated nightly is probably very stressful for parts of you that are actually doing the best they can. Imagine how the Inner Child feels being second-guessed and criticized. I can imagine hurt, angry, abandoned, hopeless.

Just being aware of what might be happening in your Inner Child's experience can give you the reasons, according to Dr. Sarno you have symptoms. Seeing the reasons for symptoms as psychological, rather than physical is the cure. You can develop compassion for your Inner Child's experience, and understand that the feelings are so difficult, that you "don't want to feel them." Some of this is just intellectual or "educational," and other parts of this exploration will bring into more feeling. Be gentle with yourself and know that we're all in this human condition, and all of us suffer. You did nothing wrong.

Andy B

 

[TG957]

Hi TG957,

One way to do this is write down what happened (such as what made you angry, or worried) and then write out next to it how your Inner Child might feel. This might be hurt, sadness, rage, or whatever. You may not be sure. That's OK. Remember the Inner Child is young, needy, tender, and wants its needs met.

Andy B

Andy, thank you! This is great advice! So grateful to many people on this forum who are helping me to get through my journey!