Day 10 Doubt

Hey all,

Yesterday I played the guitar and got quite perfectionistic. I tried to record a song I was working on but I wasn’t satisfied and got annoyed. after a while I got pain in my right arm but I kept going for a few more takes even though I knew I hit my limit and overstepped my boundaries. Afterwards I felt a lot of shame and guilt about my lack of self discipline. I feel like the reason my pain spiraled so much is because of my perfectionistic tendencies and lack of discipline that caused me to overstep my boundaries way too many times which made the original arm pain become so much worse and cause chronic widespread pain. I know the original injury has healed a long time ago but my nervous system has become so overly sensitive due to me pushing my boundaries too many times and teaching my nervous system that certain movements are dangerous. I feel like this pain is more due to physical over straining that makes my nervous system think something is wrong rather than any emotional stress, though I also have a lot of that too, which makes it hard for me to believe that journaling and feeling my emotions will make this pain and sensitivity go away.

 

Hey Rob,

I know your struggle -- or at least i think i do. This definitely hits home, although i havent been able to play the guitar in a while.

I always got mad at myself for everything, 'you need to do this' 'you need to do that'. That is no way to talk to yourself. Would you speak to your children like that? What has helped immensely, and i just had this revelation yesterday. I was starting to get mad at myself for responding to a trigger a certain way, and i stopped myself and said 'maybe i can do that a little better next time'. Try to coach yourself as if youre your own child. Be kind to yourself, stop kicking yourself while youre already down. Just try to take lessons and do stuff 'a little better each time'.