Day 2 Documenting 2nd day . How do you counter the feelings of inadequacy ? Can someone please answer

Day 2

Kim Ruby’s Article :-
1. The original reason behind why people develop TMS is because of the unsuppressed emotions. The symptoms act as a distraction to avoid feeling those uncomfortable emotions.

2. The feeling of inadequacy can also cause TMS symptoms as it puts tremendous pressure.
→ I could relate to this because during my undergrad. I wanted to be perfect in every aspect. I wanted to excel in my major, get shredded, get too good at playing soccer, have the perfect skin.
→ I developed TMS during the summer break of 3 months. Before entering 2nd year of my uni I put too much pressure on having the perfect routine.
(i) I was practising soccer everyday.
(ii) I was studying 7–8 hrs everyday.
(iii) I was working out & was too rigid with my diet.
(iv) I got into the habit of meditation.
And after following such rigorous routine for 45 days one day I woke up with back pain.

3. My belief is that I developed back pain because it was a perfect distraction for me as I couldn't sit & code for long hours, could not work or play the sport.

4. Fear : The first time I developed back pains. I panicked because my life came to a stand still. And I started googling about my symptoms which was like a “fuel to fire”

5. I have to acknowledge & believe that I only have TMS. As I have all the evidence, diagnosis (All clear reports and scans). And resume my activities.
like sitting, running, lifting heavy things off the ground as I’m still hesitant about it.

Brian’s Story :-
1. Similar to brian, all my tests were negative yet I had back pains, tingling b/w my left & right arm.

2. Initially when I discovered TMS, I made a steady improvement but after I while it slowed down & sometimes became worse just like Brian’s experience.

3. Constantly remind myself my body is a beast and my lower back is stronger than it has ever been as I also have been working on building a lot of strength & mobility for my lower back, even though my symptoms were psychosomatic.
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Journalling :

Three things that make me angry :
1. Only I had to go through this suffering when all others are doing completely fine inspite of not practising healthy life-style like I did.
2. Sometimes I feel angry with myself because inspite of knowing & having all the evidence of TMS my brain still tries to convince / make me believe that there’s something wrong.
3. Have to think about it.

Three Things That make me sad :
1. Not being able to enjoy things like others do.
2. Reading about TMS, sometimes makes me feel sorry about myself that I had tied my self worth to all the material things like being popular with girls, money, abs etc.
3. I feel sad that I destroyed myself by picking up bad habits like eating disorders, masturbation, addictions for distracting myself.

Couple of questions

1) How did you overcome the feeling of inadequacy . When its soo deeply rooted in the sub conscious mind

2) There is stiil some hesitation / fear for me with certain physical activities . So is it part of the process . Which approach to follow ? Pushing through or gradual exposure ?