Depression and Medications

I'm feeling depressed. I thought I was doing very well with symptom control and decided to cut back on my medicine. (Imipramine) After about a week and half of trying a lower by 5mgs dose my pain crept back up and then became unbearable again. I had to get back on the same dose I was on to stop the pain.

I know that I shouldn't expect a fast healing. Looking back in my life, I've had TMS symptoms for at least 20 years just manifesting in different ways. But I had my hopes that I could start weaning myself down so I could get off this awful stuff while doing the work.

This medicine is also covering my symptoms for the most part. Pain will sometimes be there just a lower level. This allows me to be able to have a life and work. But how do I tell if the SEP work is working if my symptoms are being mostly covered up? Now there are times that my pain gets pretty bad even being on this medicine. I had used that as my measurement-if the medicine was covering all of the my symptoms I felt like I was making progress on the TMS work.

Has anyone had this experience with taking medicine to be able to function but also trying to do the TMS work? Should I just not worry about lowering my dosage right now and focus on the work? I think I am just confused because I don't think the medicine allows me to see the progress. But if I discontinue the medicine completely, I would bed and housebound for sure.

 

Absolutely. I'm nowhere near ready to give up my anxiety meds, and I still take Aleve and Tylenol when the pain spikes. Even Dr. Sarno would give his patients narcotics when they were in the worst of it and told them to rest for a bit. I think as long as you can tell yourself the medication is just helping you function while you are pursuing the psychological/neuroplastic, and not fixing you, you need to do what is best for you.

 

For sure, do whatever it takes to not be bedbound and housebound, and count yourself lucky the meds work for you. One day, you’ll be off the meds. Don’t worry about being able to “see the progress.” The progress isn’t measured by symptoms or the lack of them. It takes place below the surface. You can even have terrible symptoms and be days away from them disappearing forever. The SEP is working, if you’re putting your heart into it. Don’t doubt that for a minute. Keep going! You’re valiant! You’ll get there. Don’t let depression overtake you. You haven’t failed. Avoid unrealistic expectations. These can cause depression. You’re right on track!

 

This. I did a second round of Botox for my dystonia in April (I put it off and did do a much lower dose) and I am taking a small dose of a medication that stops muscle spasms, well because else I would not be able to care for my family, walk my dog, go to the grocery store, and you know like basic functioning. When you've been in a mobility scooter and gotten out, you will do anything not to go back. There is no shame in medication. I mean if my life were just me in an apartment by myself where I didn't have to take care of anyone and my food and house supplies could be delivered and I could work from home and never leave, well yes I could dedicate months to full on TMS recovery with zero medical interventions. But I need to live life now and I've had too many months of my life already where I've been completely unable to function so I won't do it again even if it's "relying" on medical treatment.

Being house and bed bound Dr. Sarno would definitely say is not the path to recovery. Get out and live life!

 

Don't worry about the medication.

I think it's fantastic that you are already thinking of being creative with your approach and trying to figure out what might work for you and when. Just because you still need the medication doesn't mean you aren't making progress. Deciding to TAKE the medication, deciding it lower it and then deciding to increase because that's where you are at now IS progress.

I did the SEP twice. Once when I had severe anxiety and my symptoms where incredibly high (and I was bed bound) and then later on when I was able to get into it more.

There are no hard and fast rules.
There is no "timeline".

 

Thank you all for your kind words. I feel like the medicine holds me back but I will need to change my view of that! I will be off my medicines one day...just not today. I started the SEP after a brief break in May and already I'm seeing my pain change again and I'm feeling some of my rage and anger. That is a big win for me!!

 

Don't put so much pressure on yourself with medication. It's not holding you back.

I've made progress and recovered with medication.

 

@Cactusflower Thank you! I have put pressure on myself. I'm going to stop that. I'm going to accept that I need medication at this stage of my life and it's ok. At least I am able to work and be a mom to my kids with this. I need to look at this with gratitude instead of pressuring myself to get off of it asap. It seems like I find one area where I am being hard on myself and take care of it and then another thing pops up! I need to practice patience and kindness to myself-as Nicole Sachs would say.