Dealing with severe head pain vs consequences of crying

DianeRadvanski

DianeRadvanski

New Member
Hello all. I know this may sound stupid but here goes

As I am sure many of you havery had or are having significant life events on top of having TMS.

My dilemma is that my pain and symptoms are all scalp. So anytime I get even a little emotional or upset or angry, bam!!! Full blown over the top flare up that lasts hours on end.

Crying was always a catharsis for me and would so benefit me now...as well as releasing pent up anger from recent life changing events since 2014. But I also can't tolerate the flare ups becauze I literally can't talk, chew, or do much of anything.

Any suggestions? I do journaling but it doesn't get to the rawness of my emotions.

Thanks!!

Diane
 
This is known as a conditioned response. So when you get emotional and a flare up happens, that's when you need to talk to your subconscious and tell it to stop. Tell it you know there is nothing physically wrong. You have to believe this. The more you do this the pain will decrease. This will be probably the hardest thing you will ever do but it is the road to recovery.

Do not be afraid to get emotional because when the flare up comes, and it will, you will know what to do. Accept the pain and try to start separating it from your conscious emotions.
 
birdsetfree said:
This is known as a conditioned response. So when you get emotional and a flare up happens, that's when you need to talk to your subconscious and tell it to stop. Tell it you know there is nothing physically wrong. You have to believe this. The more you do this the pain will decrease. This will be probably the hardest thing you will ever do but it is the road to recovery.

Do not be afraid to get emotional because when the flare up comes, and it will, you will know what to do. Accept the pain and try to start separating it from your conscious emotions.
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I guess I am having a hard time because there are things that are structurally wrong with and there is something physicaly wrong.. I have a confirmed autoimmune disease and neuropathy .so much so that I have to be extremely careful of being out in the sUn and cold...so when I tell myself there is nothing physically wrong that would be lying to myself...I have tried although I have this I will get better and then I use imagery and tell my brain I will be OK...it will heal over time...this isn't easy. But the fear kills me yet....it's such a work in progress
 
DianeRadvanski said:
I guess I am having a hard time because there are things that are structurally wrong with and there is something physicaly wrong.. I have a confirmed autoimmune disease and neuropathy .so much so that I have to be extremely careful of being out in the sUn and cold...so when I tell myself there is nothing physically wrong that would be lying to myself...I have tried although I have this I will get better and then I use imagery and tell my brain I will be OK...it will heal over time...this isn't easy. But the fear kills me yet....it's such a work in progress
Click to expand...

Sweetheart, I used to suffer from extreme flare-ups like you describe but mine were localised to the right side of my face. I completely understand how hard that can render physical expression and yet that really is what you need to do. Crying will still help you heal. The most powerful thing I have done to remedy my situation is to very mindfully and gentle desensitise my nervous system. It was on a hair trigger for years and the pain was terrifying and long lasting. By far the most effective thing I have done to initiate my healing has been to sleep. For the couple of years I have made that a priority and I am so much better I have to pinch myself.

Please don't worry so much about the structural issues because you will find ways of restoring balance and health to those ailing parts. birdsetfree is quite right about the conditioned response. As you calm your frazzled self and system you will be albe to challenge these things but now is not really the time. I suggest you focus on the lovely practices you mentioned in your previous post; imagery, meditation and prayer are beautiful ways of being kind and compassionate with yourself. Oftentimes we simply need to take the pressure off. Oddly, trying to heal exerts a lot of psychological weight. Instead devote your time to nurturing activities that make you feel good. Don't try to convince yourself or your brain that nothing is wrong. Let it be wrong, and then when you are ready you can turn your attention to ways of healing those elements. Our bodies are remarkable in their ability to heal.

The other thing that may help is exercise because this burns off physical tension. For me swimming is the best and makes a dramatic difference. Remember that emotions are neurochemicals and that exercise helps us generate positive emotions while scaling down the negative.

I have been where you are and I assure you that you can get better. Are you on any meds at the moment?
 
plum said:
Sweetheart, I used to suffer from extreme flare-ups like you describe but mine were localised to the right side of my face. I completely understand how hard that can render physical expression and yet that really is what you need to do. Crying will still help you heal. The most powerful thing I have done to remedy my situation is to very mindfully and gentle desensitise my nervous system. It was on a hair trigger for years and the pain was terrifying and long lasting. By far the most effective thing I have done to initiate my healing has been to sleep. For the couple of years I have made that a priority and I am so much better I have to pinch myself.

Please don't worry so much about the structural issues because you will find ways of restoring balance and health to those ailing parts. birdsetfree is quite right about the conditioned response. As you calm your frazzled self and system you will be albe to challenge these things but now is not really the time. I suggest you focus on the lovely practices you mentioned in your previous post; imagery, meditation and prayer are beautiful ways of being kind and compassionate with yourself. Oftentimes we simply need to take the pressure off. Oddly, trying to heal exerts a lot of psychological weight. Instead devote your time to nurturing activities that make you feel good. Don't try to convince yourself or your brain that nothing is wrong. Let it be wrong, and then when you are ready you can turn your attention to ways of healing those elements. Our bodies are remarkable in their ability to heal.

The other thing that may help is exercise because this burns off physical tension. For me swimming is the best and makes a dramatic difference. Remember that emotions are neurochemicals and that exercise helps us generate positive emotions while scaling down the negative.

I have been where you are and I assure you that you can get better. Are you on any meds at the moment?
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First of all, thank you for putting my mind at ease that I don't have to tell my braim or convince it I am not physically ill. Second I am on a bunch of meds becauze many of the nerves in my head are inflammed ans there r possibly a few tears and neuromas. So becauze I can't even sneeze without pain I am on these meds. Third I wish I could e,ercise but I cant...even walking in the house hurts because the allodynia is so severe. I can't wear a hat and walk outdoors and unless it's fairly comfortable with no frigid AC I can't walk indoors either. My scalp is ultrasensitive to even washing it. I think I would be healed by now if I could go for walks and drive. I am house bound. Hope that changes once they find out what type of autoimmune disease and neuropathy I havr. Thanks for your suggestionz!!
 
Give it time Diane. Meds are incredibly helpful at this point and if you're not taking something that encourages sleep then you may want to consider speaking to your doctor about it. At this stage all you really need to do is calm yourself and get the pain under some kind of control. Don't worry about how long this takes. Once the pain begins to reduce you'll be so happy and your mind will naturally turn to what is the next best step.

I couldn't exercise for a while so I get where you are coming from. For now let the meds work their magic, and maybe enjoy listening to music and guided visualisations. Soothe yourself. This time will pass.
 
plum said:
Give it time Diane. Meds are incredibly helpful at this point and if you're not taking something that encourages sleep then you may want to consider speaking to your doctor about it. At this stage all you really need to do is calm yourself and get the pain under some kind of control. Don't worry about how long this takes. Once the pain begins to reduce you'll be so happy and your mind will naturally turn to what is the next best step.

I couldn't exercise for a while so I get where you are coming from. For now let the meds work their magic, and maybe enjoy listening to music and guided visualisations. Soothe yourself. This time will pass.
Click to expand...
The hardest thing for me to do is not hurry this along.. I need to focus less on this time aspect. And predict how I will feel when I know I have to go out. Thanks so much!
 
DianeRadvanski said:
I guess I am having a hard time because there are things that are structurally wrong with and there is something physicaly wrong.. I have a confirmed autoimmune disease and neuropathy .so much so that I have to be extremely careful of being out in the sUn and cold...so when I tell myself there is nothing physically wrong that would be lying to myself...I have tried although I have this I will get better and then I use imagery and tell my brain I will be OK...it will heal over time...this isn't easy. But the fear kills me yet....it's such a work in progress
Click to expand...
I understand how hard this is for you. Tms tried to kill me too. The pain consumed me and I was ready to end it all. I could not walk to the bathroom without extreme pressure on my back where I would end up on my knees. So when I found tms, I could not for the light of day, see how it could possibly apply to me. I kept telling my therapist over and over 'but my pain is extremely severe and completely disabling'. I cannot face that. But eventually I did. And it was so hard. But eventually with practising facing it over and over the pain/pressure started to evaporate and I was on the road to recovery. I had believed for 14 years that I had a physical problem and had been told that so many time by the doctors and physio's.

Have you read the much touted book Claire Weekes 'Peace from Nervous Suffering'? This helped me immensely with my fear of the pain and conditioned responses. It will help calm your nervous system.
 
I wish I had some words of wisdom for you. Hope you are feeling better soon! Be confident that you will figure everything out and that you will heal and improve.
 
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