Day 6 Day 6

[browndogisinthehouse]

Briefly take a few minutes and write down some of your fears. Why are you afraid of these things?

My major fear of course is that the pain will not end and that will cause the money to run out and I will be on the roads. Finances are already taking a beating. Of course, I now keep on telling myself that this pain is from the subconscious and is merely to distract me. What I do not understand is how can subconscious give us a pain which is almost suicidal. I had to work extra hard to build up finances after the earlier bout of pelvic pain ended. So in the end, the subconscious seems to have created more problems for me instead of protecting me. I keep on repeating this mentally in an attempt to talk to the brain.

I did mindfulness meditation. It helped. I also learned today that progressive mental relaxation is good for physical pain caused due to muscle. But apparently mindfulness meditation helps pain that originates due to emotional reasons. I also realise that perhaps maybe I have an intellectual insight but no emotional insight into the pain. I do not have any idea how to graduate to that level

I have started journalling actively. I journalled about a few events at work even though they may seem minimal as opposed to the major events like divorce, I continue to write them down in the hope that they will uncover the recent reasons of pain and help me heal

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Browndogisinthe house

If it is of any comfort to you, I am in a similar financial boat with lots of holes in it and sinking.
I have been working hard for a book publisher but he is always slow in paying me each month and
when he does, it is usually about half what we agreed to. I have a big mortgage payment and credit card debt,
so I am under a lot of emotional stress and anxiety.

I do the same things you do... mindfulness meditation, deep breathing, reminding myself that my anxiety is caused
by my financial emotions. I add prayer and daily rosary.

Somehow, I'm surviving.

I believe we are not alone by any means. The politicians and big business are making a mess of the economy and
we working middle class are suffering.

Your pain is from financial stress. You have to believe this so you can manage the pain and anxiety.

Try to get as much local help as you can, from local agencies.
I get food delivered free for $7 a day and if I can't pay, they wait patiently. You might have something like it around you.
Mine is called Meals at Home.

Good luck, and as my boss says, "Hang in there." I'm hanging, but it's no fun.
I'm 85 and live with my dog in a small ranch house and pray we can keep it and keep going.

Easter is this Sunday. Ask the Lord for help, and a minister of whatever church you belong to.

Walt