Day 6- TMS Concerns

[annarowens]

Hi, thank you guys for all of your positive and uplifting comments. I have to say I am much much better after only 6 days. The pain is still there, but it isn't unbearable anymore and I live my life regardless. I make a point to do my TMS work and meditation and exercise each day which I also think has helped. I am just now coming to believe that TMS is the cause of %100 of my issue. I thought, because I took a drug that was known to cause this particular kind of nerve damage that can't be seen on an MRI, it was probably the drug that caused the pain and then TMS just made it worse. But I am reframing that now by thinking about the fact that I have had pain free days. That being the case, its hard for me to believe I actually have any real nerve damage. I have some other symptoms that occurred after taking the drug (Cipro), tachycardia, insomnia, but I am treating them all as part of the TMS spectrum although the shoulder pain was definitely the most debilitating. Also, this all happened right after nursing school, the most stressful thing I've ever done. And then I went home to an abusive husband. Its like the perfect storm. So 1.5 years later, 30 doctors later, multiple treatment modalities later, living with my parents, I am reading the books and working the TMS program and am finally experiencing relief. I do want it 100% gone though. I don't like how this low level pain is kind of taunting me saying "I'm still here you'll never get completely rid of me!" I know I CAN get completely rid of it! I just have to keep doing the work and thinking positive and living my life! If it doesn't hold me back anymore, what's the point right? It'll go. It seems to be kinda lazy anyway.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, annaowens. You are doing terrific. You are feeling less pain and have your life on a calmer plane. Who needs an abusive husband? You don't! And finishing nursing school, which must have been stressful. Now you believe totally in TMS and that will make you pain-free. Keep telling yourself The Best Is Yet to Come! It is! You have come up with a great mantra: "I'm thinking positive and living my life!" Hurrah to you!

 

[Andy Bayliss]

I do want it 100% gone though. I don't like how this low level pain is kind of taunting me saying "I'm still here you'll never get completely rid of me!" I know I CAN get completely rid of it! I just have to keep doing the work and thinking positive and living my life! If it doesn't hold me back anymore, what's the point right? It'll go. It seems to be kinda lazy anyway.

Hi annarowens,

You may have gotten to a place where it is better to engage in a little light TMS work, and then forget it, and know that you'll be OK over time. If you have a relationship with the pain or TMS that you have to whip it, this may fuel symptoms, because there is comparative judgement (to others' "cure" or how life "should be for me"), coercion to fix yourself, pushing self, etc. Just doing the SEP and "letting go of results" is my advice, if you want it...

Try to do your SEP work "loosely," if you can. And observe pushing behaviors and thoughts and connect this to your understanding of yourself and symptoms.

Andy B.

 

[annarowens]

Hi annarowens,

You may have gotten to a place where it is better to engage in a little light TMS work, and then forget it, and know that you'll be OK over time. If you have a relationship with the pain or TMS that you have to whip it, this may fuel symptoms, because there is comparative judgement (to others' "cure" or how life "should be for me"), coercion to fix yourself, pushing self, etc. Just doing the SEP and "letting go of results" is my advice, if you want it...

Try to do your SEP work "loosely," if you can. And observe pushing behaviors and thoughts and connect this to your understanding of yourself and symptoms.

Andy B.

You're definitely right on with that. For me, its less about "having" to do it and more about feeling like I "need" to do it for myself because it helps my pain so much. Literally it is like taking pain medication. If i do the work and get on the forum, the pain goes down significantly and stays gone pretty much for the rest of the day. It's like setting my day up to succeed! So it kind of feels like a Must do, but only in the way that it makes me feel so much better! You're right though, I could easily fall into that pattern of being perfect at doing this work as well! That trait is so sneaky!!!