Day 6! I can do this. Days off...?

[giulietta90]

Today's journaling brought up buried emotions about my parents divorce when I was 1 year old!!! I didn't think i was going to connect with that stuff so fast since it occurred so long ago...
My parents were wonderful in dealing with it with grace, but I still have (had?) sense of guilt, the feeling it was all my fault, fear of abandonment from my dad, and loads of unexpressed sadness and heaviness. I ended up crying a bunch in my husband arms, thank goodness he's workig from home now.
I am glad i was able to do that. I feel better now... it is like peeling an onion!

I also had a huge meltdown two days ago following a horrible flare up, the most pain i've felt in months!!! I was so scared I wasn't going to be able to draw again... I cried a bunch and punched pillows on stuff that happened nearly 10 years ago and I thought I moved on from. The same night I started feeling a cooling sensation in my left arm and hand, and the day after pain was gone again.

This process is draining but so exciting!!! Do you guys schedule days off? I took the weekend off and it was great, but I think I'll strat taking wednesdays off too.....

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hiigiulietta90,

I love your report. You're experiencing the connection between the emotional and the symptoms, which is hugely convincing for the deeper parts of us. The learning is going deeper! And you're doing the real work of expressing anger and feeling things as best you can.

This process is draining but so exciting!!! Do you guys schedule days off? I took the weekend off and it was great, but I think I'll strat taking wednesdays off too.....

I think what you're after here is consistency, a commitment to this process. And as you go through the program you're getting a growing internalization of the learning, so scheduling may become a little less important. Being kind to yourself, and knowing when to rest is important. Finding your own rhythm is encouraged!

Andy