Day 32s ramblings

Today you read about how one person balances their daily life with recovering from PPD. This can be very difficult to do, but it is important in order to recover. For today's journal activity, write about some of the specific problems in your everyday life that may be preventing you from recovering. After that write down some ideas about how to stop letting this aspect create more stress and anxiety in your life, thus causing more symptoms!

1. Constantly wanting sympathy is only leading to reassuring my subconscious that something is wrong – when someone messages or asks how are you? and I rant that I still have chronic pain every day – I’m saying I have pain every day that is not helpful, there is no need to lie but I could perhaps try to reframe maybe just answer with something real but positive. I slept well last night or well I went for a run yesterday morning that was great – I don’t know it just seems saying or writing something positive about my health and life would help to reassure my subconscious that I am indeed well, My new daily affirmation is; I’m strong, I’m well, I’m not in danger. So perhaps I should try to reiterate this in messages and when I speak to others instead of banging on about my symptoms !! their sympathy or them knowing I am in pain is not going to get me out of pain, in fact they probably don’t really care – not that their not nice but they are probably more concerned regarding their own ‘problems’ which to me always feel ridiculous but that’s because I am so fucking wrapped up in myself of late.

2. My mum she is a constant cause of stress and guilt – I love her and want to be kind to her but she goes against nearly everything I believe in; she is racists even thought she says she’s not – classic – she is a believer in the patriarchy even though she thinks she a feminist and I believe she may even be homophobic – I can not excuse these behaviours and thoughts and I will not – however she has always in her own way been kind to me ( in fact dad is also the same) and they are always there for me if needed in a way they believe is helpful but it is so difficult to love people when there beliefs are so fucking different to your own – how can I do something about this to reduced the anxiety around the subject ?

 

This is awesome! I love it! I think I’ll borrow it.

I think it’s a great idea not to talk about your pain with other people. Talking about it reinforces the pain. I think a lot of us start to identify with our pain and we think of it as us. And other people think of it as us. But it’s not us!

As far as your Mom, you could write her an unsent letter expressing all your anger about her beliefs. Get some of that off your heart. I know this might be really hard, but you could also just make some boundaries with her. You could say, “When you talk about racial issues, I feel very uncomfortable. I would like you to please not talk about them around me.” It will probably shock her at first. And probably even make her mad. But it will be great for you!

TMSers usually don’t have boundaries. That’s one of the things that makes us so mad and helpless. But we are allowed to say No. We are allowed to have needs and preferences. My TMS journey has rattled my whole superstructure of people-pleasing. All kinds of things in my relationships have been changing. I’ve lost a couple friends —on purpose. I’ve told some family things I need that they aren’t happy about. (Still working that one out. But now, at least, I feel less of a traitor to myself.) I’ve lost some family relationships (I’ve made them deliberately distant now.) Listen to your heart. And be brave enough to stand up for yourself.

You’re doing great! Day 32 of the SEP is no joke! Keep it up!

 

Thank you for your beautiful words, great advise and kind support - yes boundaries are going to be required, I'm ok with boundaries for lots of people just not my parents. This is going to be super tough.

 

Oh yes!!!! It will be. But you can do it. (Why do the people we love the most get by for free with us?) I’ve asked myself that question 1 million times. The only way out is through. Change is hard.