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Day 3- soothing vs difficult activities

AnnGG

Newcomer
Hello,
Today I did some pain triggering things which did in fact trigger some pain. I did so so with hanging in and trying to find some enjoyment in the moment alongside the pain. Eventually it felt like I needed to do some soothing activities to stop the pain experience. For me taking a bath is soothing as is wearing looser clothes. I guess I’m wondering about how to manage the balance between stretching yourself to go outside your comfort zone and also use of soothing things? I mean I guess if you’re moving more towards going out of the comfort zone over time that’s a win? For example, I have pelvic pain and I’ve been wearing clothes that impact that area more often. So a win right? Even if I can’t do it all the time. I sat in chairs that challenged me but I eventually felt like I had to stop. (I even went out to a restaurant this weekend which involved sitting a while.)I’m assuming it’s good to go that way, right even though I don’t feel like I can do it more this evening? Thanks for your input!
 
I mean I guess if you’re moving more towards going out of the comfort zone over time that’s a win?

Correct! As long as you're heading in the right direction (doesn't have to every day but in the longer term), then you're winning - your confidence and belief will grow as your capacity grows - it will snowball from there :).

The one thing I will add that's crucial is how you frame it to yourself as to what's going on. What I mean is that it's important to reassure yourself as you're doing these activities that there's nothing wrong with you physically and they are just conditioned responses. This isn't about pushing through pain as you may do with an injury, it's about reappraising movements and activities as safe based on the newfound knowledge/belief that nothing is in fact wrong structurally.
 
A lot of us on here will start with baby steps which kind of sounds like what you are doing. I go slow and tell myself I am fine and there is nothing wrong. Have you created an evidence list of why you know this is TMS for you? I did that and sometimes it helps to read over it at any stage of healing. Especially when you are going outside your comfort zone.
 
Thanks sometimes I have worries I could have an infection and I don’t always know how to counter that. So not sure what to do there except maybe check with the Obgyn.
 
Oh yeah and the pain after sex really hurts so it’s hard to believe it’s a conditioned response and not some irritated nerves or tissue. So I guess I think anxiety can make pain worse under any circumstances but I don’t know for sure that my pain is entirely mind body. Also when I got better over 10 years ago the pain lifted over time but I wasn’t even aware of TMS. I was less focused on checking for pain and was more into living life. I took pain meds after sex until one day I realized I didn’t need it. I also gradually was able to resume more normal clothes and activities. It was never clear how I got better but I knew that less hyper focus was better. So I think mind body played a part but I guess I don’t have that perfect belief….
 
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