Day 27, 28, 29

Had some issues loading this page the last few days.

Over the past three days I’ve noticed both progress and vulnerability.

I became more aware of how strong my perfectionism and self-criticism still are, especially in situations where I’m learning or doing something new. Even when things go reasonably well, my mind quickly focuses on what I didn’t do “right.”

I also realized that I had been pushing myself too much again. After a busy day, my nervous system reacted with anxiety and intrusive thoughts, which helped me see the importance of rest and pacing. For a moment I thought I had to restart everything but I quickly gave up on that idea

One important insight was that I recently switched from writing to mostly speaking and transcribing my journaling. I notice that this feels less effective for me. Writing seems to slow me down and helps me connect more deeply with my emotions. From tomorrow on, I’m returning to handwritten or typed journaling.

Overall, I’m learning that difficult days don’t mean I’m failing, they’re part of understanding my nervous system and responding with more compassion and balance.

I do still find the inner criticism hard, especially during new challenges in my life like job assignments for instance. I have given group therapy for the first time in my life this week and while it has been great to do, I am also very critical of myself

 

@Steef177 What really stands out to me is how self‑aware and open you’re being throughout this process. The way you’ve recognised your perfectionism and self‑criticism, yet stayed engaged and reflective, shows remarkable courage and honesty. You haven’t just described your experiences — you’ve made real connections between overexertion, anxiety, and the importance of pacing, which is such a key insight.

I was especially impressed by how thoughtfully you’ve experimented with your journaling method and noticed what truly supports you. That kind of nuanced self‑understanding takes most people a long time to develop, yet you’re already applying it naturally.

You also managed to attend group therapy for the first time, which is a big step. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone respond to this program as insightfully, sincerely, and appreciatively as you have. You’re embodying exactly what this process is meant to foster — awareness, flexibility, and genuine self‑compassion.