Day 20- If I could change one thing

[annarowens]

Hello everyone!
Today's question is, if I could change one thing about my life, what would it be? I think for me, the change would not be external but internal. Life is going to have ups and downs and if it didn't, I think it would be depressing. I have friends that can handle stress with so much resiliency. They do not internalize it. In fact, they are able to just acknowledge it and move on! These are my friends who made it through medical school without having a nervous breakdown, got their PhDs in chemistry, physics, etc. and still seem to have more free time than anyone else, continue to chase their dreams to be singers or songwriters without the fear or worry about what they will do when we are older and they have no "back up plan." These friends all sleep like rocks. 9 hours a night with no problem. Then there is me. I think my change would be that I would be "wired" more like the friends I look up to because they are high achievers like me but do not carry the stress with them and allow it to make them sick as I do. That is how they have managed to go even further beyond what I can currently do just because of my inability to handle stress as well as others. I think if I had that personality trait, even if nothing in my life changed externally, my entire perspective on my life thus far would be different. After all, it isn't really what is happening as much as it is how you perceive it that makes all the difference.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, annarowens. I think most of us wish we could feel as calm and accepting of stress as some of our best friends seem to be. But have you thought that they may actually be putting up a front? I doubt anyone is truly as unstressed as they appear to be. They may be repressing it and have TMS themselves. If not, lucky them. You can try to handle stress better by following the relaxation techniques that are in the books and articles and the posts from TMSers.

I work for a book publisher who believes he is a perfectionist but he is not and it gives him and me a lot of stress. I have learned to just accept that fact and do my best but no longer try to please him which would be impossible. My mother was the same when she grew old. I tried being her caregiver but after two years had to stop and let someone else try. She was impossible to please. Lots of older people get that way. I'm 85 and take what I get and am thankful.

And I doubt anyone gets to be a "high achiever" without going through a lot of stress. If they can handle it well, they should thank the Lord.

If I could change one thing it would be to unplug from computers and other technology. I was happier and more relaxed before everything became so plugged in. I loved radio and a manual typewriter. Old fashioned? I'm 85 and remember when people were more relaxed and happy, even if they were broke. It cost nothing to sit outside on a summer night and listen to a neighbor play old songs on the piano.

 

[annarowens]

I agree with you Walt! Being on the grid definitely has its disadvantages! We are constantly multi-tasking and our brains never have a chance to rest. I am working on being aware of what I am doing and how many things I am working on at one time. Right now I have no idea where my phone is and I probably won't for the next couple of hours! It is nice to just focus on one thing without having text message interruptions constantly!