Day 17 -- Most helpful part of the program

[JohnnyWindtunnel]

I think the most helpful part of the program is the educational stuff. It all very much fits my experience my personality, symptoms and personal history. I use it to "prove" the TMS dx.

What I'm having some trouble with is the journaling. While I regularly feel strong emotions and have no problem writing about them, for the most part, I just get suddenly tired when I journal and am not actively experincing the rage and grief and shame that I'm writing about. Its a very surreal experience.

After I'm done journaling i do a kind of compassion meditation where I let my mind wander. (this was sort of taken from Nicole Sachs' JournalSpeak recs). and I do find that my mind seems freer than it has in a long time, so unconsciously this practice is likely loosening something up in my psyche.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Interesting!

You might consider the effect of expectations. My TMS coach/therapist regularly recommends employing curiosity in all kinds of situations, and writing with curiosity seems more productive than writing with expectations.

When I write, I scribble to the point of illegibility, and I toss it. I also do my best to recognize when my brain is trying to censor or edit what I write down (and to write it down anyway), which happens all the time.

If you're lacking motivation, try just making a list of stuff from your day. Also try writing down at least one thing (no matter how significant, or not) for which you are grateful.

It sounds like you're clearly getting benefit. Learning what works is part of the process!