Saoirse
Peer Supporter
So I read a story from a sucessful TMS participant and it did give me hope and less isolated. Its a funny old thing ,your chatting to your mind on and off all day and trying to make sure you flag the behavior you have taught yourself that although comfortable is self hurting. I can see with the program and my therapist I have SO much to unlearn,relearn and change my thinking about. Stuff for so long I just thought was me now I know its learned behaviours and I can change them,I'm not stuck with them forever.I just need to talk to someone and I can't except from my husband and I;m sure he is on overload. I have not told anyone except from my husband and my therapist and this is a challenge. I know none of my family want to discuss our childhood and wear rose tinted glasses it why we are somewhat estranged. I know in Ireland where I live my friends and anyone else would just see it as " after all theses years its not really pain at all its in her bloody head". Really I am not being a drama queen , I tried to tentatively tell a friend and explained it being about (my friend) who was suffering with TMS and she just said for Gods sake she has to much time on her hands with all that mind mumbo jumbo!!! My sister told me that if TMS was causing me anxiety I could safly take 16 Xanax a day and to just pull my socks up and get on with it.So I really can't tell anyone and even my anxiety its my secret and one thats so energy sapping to try hide but once again its seen as a weakness just a highly strung attenion seeker which I can tell you no one could every accuse me of. So here I am looking to you as my life line ,knowing this is the right path for me and continuing my journey unabated .
