Day 13 Day 13

[Kim Mc]

Hi-
I have been keeping track of symptoms and a lot of other various emotional, and physical things on a daily chart for the past 4 years along with my journaling. As I look back to Day 1 of this program, I notice that the physical symptoms have been much less and the activity more. I know this is no coincidence. I think that whoever put this program together is truly a genius. It's like all of the reading each day, even though some of it is repetitive, is sort of "padding" me--enhancing my confidence that I do indeed have TMS, that there is nothing defective about my body, and that I can reintroduce and participate in old and new activities if I choose to. I understand now that my mind knows that my knees are my "weakness"---their "go to" symptom, so I'm just trying to ignore whatever I feel there until my mind gets the message. All of the reading and your support give me the confidence, in the moments of discomfort, to literally take the next step. The Day 13 question to ponder asks about information that has been particularly important to me so far. Without the Divided Mind I wouldn't have found this website so it was obviously significant in this process. The John Stossel article really struck a chord with me as did the Day 11 article about pain asymbolia. It looks like I've just missed the chat today. I do have a question for someone. One of the hallmarks of rheumatoid arthritis is waking up with all of this stiffness. I can wake up in the nighttime to use the restroom and feel pretty darn good but as soon as I wake up for the day the cycle starts over again. The joint discomfort doesn't always dissipate during the day--sometimes it increases or increases and decreases hourly-everyday is different, but I always wake up that way. Does the unconscious mind try to distract me from repressed emotion even when I'm asleep? I want to understand this notion as well as I'm starting to understand everything else. Thank you again for all of your support and have a great weekend.

 

[Ellen]

Does the unconscious mind try to distract me from repressed emotion even when I'm asleep? I want to understand this notion as well as I'm starting to understand everything else.

Hi Kim,
Congratulations on your continued progress. I had the same question you have above, as I was waking up with pain and migraines fairly frequently. My research found that the answer is yes, we still try to repress emotions even when sleeping. As my symptoms during the day have decreased, so have my symptoms upon waking. I haven't woken up in pain or with a migraine in many months now. So just keep doing the TMS work and you will notice a decrease in this phenomenon.

One suggestion I have based on your post is to think about stopping the charting of symptoms. This can help in focusing less on the pain and promoting outcome independence. I was big on charting before I discovered TMS, and my first impulse was to continue so I could measure my progress. But I think it's been helpful to stop. Yes, I still write about successes in my journal and sometimes I post it on the forum. But I no longer rate my level of pain on a daily basis, and this has been freeing. Instead I focus on finding pleasure in the present moment, with or without pain.

Best wishes....

 

[Kim Mc]

Thank you so much for your response Ellen. Just recently I had been wondering about the daily charting. Much of it is about behaviors, as I know so much of this process is about attempting to become a functional nurturing adult but I will try eliminating the physical symptom stuff and then over time maybe I can get rid of the whole thing . You mentioned that you discovered through your research that the unconscious does indeed try to distract us even while sleeping. Do you happen to remember anything in particular you read about this? Every little bit that I read these days seems to help. Today is an "inflamed" day. Hands, knees, elbows are bigger. It's not just a sensation since my wedding ring doesn't fir on these days. I read recently in one of the program articles that Dr. Sarno said there isn't really inflammation. I am so certain that I have TMS but this and the nighttime issue have had me wondering just a bit. Do you have any thoughts on this? Thanks so much again and have a great evening.

 

[Ellen]

Hi Kim,
It's important to have all symptoms checked out by a medical doctor before assuming they are TMS. Of course, it's preferable if a TMS doctor is the one giving the diagnosis of TMS, but that isn't always possible. But making sure that all physical/structural reasons for the symptoms have been ruled out first is a critical first step.

Here is a link to a previous thread on the forum on waking up with pain. There is a post by me with a quote from neurologist and trauma expert, Robert Scaer, MD about pain occurring during REM sleep. http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/pain-upon-waking.2272/#post-12491

You can put any topic into the search box on the forum and find previous discusssions--put in 'swelling' or 'inflammation' and some will turn up. You may find some answers there. It isn't a symptom I have experience or knowledge about, but others on the forum may be able to answer your question. I do know that TMS can cause some amazing symptoms, and some people have reported swelling. Still, as stated above, I'd make sure that the swelling you are experiencing isn't due to a medical condition first.

Best wishes as you continue with the SEP.