bluealchemy
Peer Supporter
Guess what guys?! I bent over and picked something up from the floor last night WITH NO PAN!!
I was EUPHORIC because it made me realize that this is possible!!
Of course it's not 100% gone, it's still lingering there - but I could not be more confident in my diagnosis.
The past few days I experienced a lot of emotional purging.
Yesterday morning, I had a EMDR therapy session where I uncovered a well of repressed terror. Flashbacks to my experience with my mom in the hospital, and I spoke aloud deep repressed feelings about that time that I never ever vocalized to anyone out of shame and guilt.
It's just the beginning and I'm going to celebrate this win while also continuing to work at this and do my daily journaling and angry runs.
I'm really excited because today I'm going to a consultation at a kick boxing & jiu jitsu place. This is the one physical activity that I want to do soo badly but I have feared the most. So I'm just going to go for it.
One minor setback I had this week - in a yoga class, I did every single move in the sequence fearlessly, despite extreme pain when I bend forward (which is like the core sequence in a sun salutation) - Except up dog and camel (back bend poses).
My back guy had told me that I should "never do up dog again" and to avoid back extensions, forever. So that was the one move in class I didn't make fully out of nervousness. What do you think? Should I still do back bends? I know y'all are gonna say yes haha
I was EUPHORIC because it made me realize that this is possible!!
Of course it's not 100% gone, it's still lingering there - but I could not be more confident in my diagnosis.
The past few days I experienced a lot of emotional purging.
Yesterday morning, I had a EMDR therapy session where I uncovered a well of repressed terror. Flashbacks to my experience with my mom in the hospital, and I spoke aloud deep repressed feelings about that time that I never ever vocalized to anyone out of shame and guilt.
It's just the beginning and I'm going to celebrate this win while also continuing to work at this and do my daily journaling and angry runs.
I'm really excited because today I'm going to a consultation at a kick boxing & jiu jitsu place. This is the one physical activity that I want to do soo badly but I have feared the most. So I'm just going to go for it.
One minor setback I had this week - in a yoga class, I did every single move in the sequence fearlessly, despite extreme pain when I bend forward (which is like the core sequence in a sun salutation) - Except up dog and camel (back bend poses).
My back guy had told me that I should "never do up dog again" and to avoid back extensions, forever. So that was the one move in class I didn't make fully out of nervousness. What do you think? Should I still do back bends? I know y'all are gonna say yes haha
