Day 1

I was having excruciating backpain since December.
Following my Doctors prescription, I ended up visiting two physiotherapists, having Magnetfield Therapy, cupping, consuming up to 7 different painkillers a day, none of which helped. The last verdict of my physiothearpist was that I had to stop all kinds of movement as my body is completely exhausted and I have no strength in my backline. I am a runner and a Yoga Teacher, this verdict was killing me. I followed her advice for one week at the end of which I felt I had no more reason to live. Then I asked my MD for a MRT. Compared to the MRT in 2022 where I had a similar condition that lasted only for 1-2 months and where I still hiked, cycled and did yoga (though didnt run) it looked exactely the same. I have a scoliosis since I was 10 and the was an edema L3/l4. I thought: Perhaps this did not even go away in the meantime?! So I remembered somebody telling me about Dr.Sarnos`s book.
Approximately four weeks ago I read the book and immediately cancelled medication and interventions. Next I read the book by Steve Ozanich as I looked for advice how to go on. There I found out that I had TMS equivalents my whole life and was the typical T-personalty. I try to live my normal life again, talking to my brain, concentrating on anything but the pain and trying to realise where my anger comes from. Many things got better, especially my psyche, still there are symptoms f.ex. in the morning the first 30 mins and when I`m teaching. Sometimes I am not able to keep myself straight when walking, which I`m very embarressed about. I have gone for a run three times in the last 10 days and it was okay-ish, though I struggled with the fear of the pain and am still moving very slowly.
I hope, this programm will help me move on in my process.
Thank you all for your support.

 

Hi, I’m on Day 1 too.

 

Welcome! The SEP program is great when starting out. It's bite sized info about TMS and gives you some writing exercises to go through. Usually people hit "rock bottom" and then find this. That is exactly what happened to me and it sounds like you were there as well. This is a great place for support and to ask questions of others who are walking in this experience as well.

 

Hi @Francesca!
I'm on Day 1 too!

 

Hi @BarbaraF71! I'm on Day 1 too and just beginning to explore the forums.
Hoping to find a cohort that is starting at the same time to see if we can support one another through some of the process in some way!
Sending all good thoughts.

 

Hey @NewBeginning and @Francesca - good to here from you. Wish you all the best!
Thank you @Joulegirl thank you for your introduction.

 

Day 4 here.
I’m with you on the walking/running thing, the fear loop is stopping me doing so much because I walk with a limp and I’m paranoid of how I look.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I set out walking and just carried on through the hip pain.

I wish you all the luck.

Al

 

I feel you... let´s just go out there and don`t give a damn.

 

"Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I set out walking and just carried on through the hip pain."

Ahhh, this pointing in the direction of your mind opening up a little bit and not getting stuck so much in the negative loop! Why wonder?! Go for it.
All it takes is the street. A block, or around the corner. That's it.

Nobody cares that you limp except for you.
99% of people are too busy judging themselves to give a flying f*ck about judging you. We all live in our own heads! I had 0 understanding of this concept because I grew up being constantly judged and learned how to be my own harshest critic...so much so I had no idea that nobody else was judging me, and even if they were, that wasn't my problem or concern. I also began to recognize my own anger (rage) at having been taught to not only constantly judge myself but judge others. It robbed me of my happiness and created resentment (which is suppressed anger...). Learning that nobody else was judging me, except for me totally set me free!