Day 1!

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pigeonnn444

Newcomer
Hello everyone. my name is Violet, i'm 21 years old and I'm ready to start devoting myself fully to tms recovery. I've been in tremendous chest pain/discomfort/tightness/insane heaviness and pressure (?) (i guess that's the best way to describe it..just weird and bad sensations overall) for about 3 years now, my main area of pain is my ribcage and sternum/chest area. however in the past 4-5 months I also have horrible SI joint pain when I walk and sometimes back pain. When it started I was in my freshman year of college and at a very, very stressful point in my life (although my whole life really I have been in a state of stress). The pain was so severe but me being who I am I tried to ignore it and didn't even tell anyone until about 6 months later, by which point it had debilitated me enough that I had to leave school. I won't bore you with my whole life story but since then I've been unable to have any kind of life, and the stress and sadness of losing these young years to pain and isolation creates even more sadness and stress and has obviously perpetuated it more because now I have new symptoms!

At this point in time I 100% accept that I have TMS as I've been to countless doctors who have not been able to find any cause for my pain. My 'breaking point' was just a couple days ago when I went to the ER (yet again) and the doctor there actually suggested to me it may be emotional / psychological in origin. I have a very long history of anxiety and depression (starting at the age of 3) and it has been suggested to me by my parents that my pain may relate to this so for someone who didn't even know my history to suggest it really was the turning point for me. I bought the Mindbody Prescription and have been lurking this site since then and it's all starting to make so much sense to me. For the first time in a long time I'm hopeful I'm going to be able to get my life back.

My only "doubts" (and they are few) arise from the fact that I've seen very little about chest pain and mostly just back pain so it would be more reassuring to see people recovering from exactly what I have..but I guess it's all the same pretty much so I'm not too worried. I really hope I can uncover some repressed emotional baggage and alleviate my pain by going through with this to reclaim my life
 
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Hi, Violet. That was a very good post about your symptoms. You've had the medical exams and nothing structural has been found. And you were told your symptoms could be from your emotions. You say you have felt anxious and depressed since you were 3 years old. You need to journal about that. What was your home life like back then. You may have to learn more about your parents back then.

I had severe back pain and learned about TMS and read Dr. Sarno and took the SEProgram. Journaling led me to discover emotions back to when I was 7 and my parents divorced. I thought more about them as they were back then and realized they must have had their own TMS. It led me forgive them. You may very well heal after journaling about your early years.

You haven't lost some years in pain. TMS is a blessing in that we learn so much about ourselves, to live a happier life free of pain.
 
Hi walt. I've been enjoying reading your posts, I find them very helpful. It's always been somewhat of a mystery to me/my parents/drs why I had so many severe mood issues so young. I had a good upbringing, a roof over my head in a nice town, very kind and loving parents, no divorce, etc. I really don't remember anything from that time so it's hard for me to delve deep into what life was like all the way back then. My dad has anxiety so maybe that rubbed off on me. My mother had a very traumatic upbringing with an abusive alcoholic father and she never went to therapy or really released any emotions from that time so maybe that somehow had an effect on me? She most certainly has TMS in my opinion, she has been suffering from back pain and an autoimmune condition for a few years now. She certainly has a lot of repressed emotion. There is a lot of mental illness and suicide in my family unfortunately so surely there is also a genetic component. I'm trying hard to journal more about my early years to maybe uncover some things I'm forgetting.
 
by the way my pain today was the worst it's EVER been!! And strangely enough in my back and legs now as well as my chest. Even when I do get pain in my back it's usually small twinges but today I literally couldn't walk. Hopefully this is some sign of progression, though it's hard to believe since I'm in more pain than ever.
 
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Hi again. I'm sorry your pain is so intense. You say that mental illness runs in the family, but I wouldn't think that is genetic. You may have inherited anxiety but I think we all have. And we are living in very stressful times.

Then, too, we just came through Christmas. I've read that Christmas can be a very stressful time for many people. It may have been for you.

I suggest you take a break from the SEProgram and journaling, at least through the New Year's holiday. Try to relax and enjoy yourself.

You might even talk angry to your pain. Tell it you know it is from your emotions and not from anything structural, and that very soon you are going to be free of all pain. Believe it, and it will be. It's called "the law of attraction." Look it up on YouTube and see the videos about it.

Hang in there!

Walt
 
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